Y'all, I'm going to cut right to the chase: Nia DaCosta's highly anticipated remake/reboot/re-imagining, Candyman, came out this weekend, and you already know the internet came through with some hilarious reactions to the new horror movie!
1. This joke that actually made me choke on my coffee:
If candyman were real Christina Aguilera definitely wouldn’t have made it this long
2. And also, this one:
if you say "Candyman" in the mirror five times, Christina Aguilera appears and does a two-minute vocal run
3. This mother's intuition:
The other day the trailer came on & my youngest was like “What’s Candyman? What kind of name is Candyman…is Candyman a monster…” I never sprinted across the room so fast in my life to tell him to stop saying his name 😭 https://t.co/Yrc8Q0JwgB
4. This obvious trick:
lmao nice fucking try, candyman
5. This excellent question:
6. This TikTok concern:
Someone has clearly not watched CANDYMAN. https://t.co/O5WTKZBVeG
7. This final destination:
My wife just told me that if I say “we’re gonna be late” three times while she’s in the mirror the candyman will kill my mother fucking ass.
8. This simple solution:
I would simply not say 'candyman' five times. it would be very easy
9. This plot twist:
10. This patient fan:
Me after saying Candyman five thousand times and Tony Todd still hasn't shown up
11. This accurate depiction:
Me taking Candyman upstairs after saying his name 5x in the mirror
12. This important distinction:
When you say #Candyman 10 times instead of 5...
13. This self-awareness:
I talk a lot of shit for someone that still won’t say Candyman or Bloody Mary in the mirror 5x in a row.
14. This reminder that nothing is real:
listen. covid is still happening. people still aren’t getting vaxxed or masked. time to do something crazy. go scream in the woods. confess ur crush. swim naked. buy that 12 foot skeleton. say candyman five times in the mirror. nothing is real
15. This inflated cost:
because of inflation you now have to say the candyman's name 7 times
16. This undeniable truth:
17. This shared phrase:
Candyman Destiny's Child 🤝 Say My Name
18. And finally, this important moral:
Candyman didn’t fuck with nobody as long as they kept his name out of their mouth DONT LET THAT GO OVER YA HEAD
