Letter To The "Guilty"

A memo to people who have offended someone and how to deal with backlash

To My Offensive Comrades

Letter to the “guilty”,

When people get offended they think you need to bend over and kiss their ass in order to redeem themselves. An apology is never enough. There are some people in this world that will go to great lengths for forgiveness. But what people don’t realize is no matter what you try to do, people will be mad. They think because you offended them, they have the right to take advantage of any offer you make for forgiveness; at that point you are being taken advantage of.

So here’s what you do: let time pass and don’t give up your dignity and pride so someone else can be content with their misery.

There will always be people who are mad and who get mad at everything.

True story; a few people at work got angry for something I posted. An apology wasn’t enough.

The key: I play nice but not too nice. Never too nice because if they don’t accept an apology it means they are entitled jerkoffs who believe they can do no wrong. Even if what you did hit a “nerve” or was a “sensitive topic”, an apology is an apology. When someone says “they need time to heal”, it means they need time to realize they aren’t perfect and that we are all human. They aren’t healing or forgiving you in that “time of healing”. They are reflecting on life and on themselves. When people don’t accept your apology, don’t take it personal. When people look at you sideways it’s because at some point or another they were not forgiven or committed a shameful act in which they never forgave themselves. It’s never about you.

Don’t become an emotional slave to please people and get forgiven. To make someone feel guilty means they are attempting to make themselves feel innocent for wrongs they committed. Once you said “I’m sorry” and they continue to rant about how offended they were, understand there is a deep-rooted anger and resentment within themselves.

It may feel shitty not being liked but life isn’t about being liked. It’s about living and being free. The freer you are, the more people will hate you because they could never have the courage to speak. When someone ignores you or gives you a “look”, smile. Your new mantra will be “they wish they were me and angry they can’t be”. Embrace their negativity as fuel to keep on being offensive. Just because you offended someone else, does not mean you are wrong or mean spirited. Being offensive (in the context of free speech and expression) means you are confident with yourself and ability to take on the naysayers. With confidence and a thick skin, you will get to high places.

Your offensive Pal,

Alexandra