6 Country Jams On Donald Trump's Playlist

Donald threw me his phone, so I plugged in my headphones and let it play.

While attending a Trump Rally in the Bermuda Triangle, I got a chance to ask Donald a few questions…well, what I THOUGHT was a chance. He said he didn't have time, but threw me his phone, exclaiming, "Take this. I don't hide anything like the Hussein Obama does." I didn't have his passcode, so I just asked siri to play his top playlist. After listening, here's a pretty "acc-re-ate" idea of what he blasts in the confinement of his penthouse in Trump Tower.

I am now pretty confident that Trump gets some of the pep in his step from these 6 country songs. This hotheaded, one-sided, pro-violence, pro-destruction, pro-money, pro-business, pro-pro-ing things man has got a few secret tracks on his phone that no one knows about. Well I'm here to disclose six of them to you, in all of their intense musical glory.

1. Buy Me A Boat (2015) by Chris Janson

This track is found on Trump's country playlist simply because of money. Chris is quoted in an interview about this song, saying "[Money] can't buy happiness — I found that out — but it can buy a good time. And a good time to me is: boats, Yetis, trucks. Money." The song is about what money can buy you, like a boat, and if there's one person knows what money can buy, it's Donald Trump. Hell, the man bought a campaign. The billionaire pays for his own political campaign, so he damn sure could use this song to remind him that his money can either buy him a presidency, or a boat (as if he needs another one). Trump would by me a boat to stop me from releasing this list, but oh well!

2. I Wanna Talk about Me (2001) Toby Keith

Now, when Donald first handed me his phone with this playlist up, this was the only song I hadn't recognized. Judging by the title, I think this is what Trump uses to pep himself up for a debate. After the first listen, I learned that this song is Trump's way he tells himself that he's done enough of talking about and helping others, and it's his time to be selfish and brag. He's done with telling people what he'll do for them, and every once in a while (or, in his case, ALL THE TIME), he wants to talk about himself. When he was talking about his critics, he stated, "it is very hard for them to attack me on looks, because I am so good looking." He also said in an interview "I'm the worst thing that's ever happened to ISIS. " Trump probably gets tired of talking about abortion and ISIS and how to avoid terrorism, so he just likes to remind himself that he's the most important topic anyone could ever talk about. Thanks Toby.

3. Mama's Don't Let Your Babies Grow Up to be Cowboys (1978) by Waylon Jennings

This song is a classic, and can make its way into anyone's playlist. Obviously given the title, this song is about mothers driving their children to be successful doctors, lawyers, or business people. This flies way up there on Trump's go to playlist, since he is an entrepreneur he wants quality workers, so this advice is what he wants to hear everyday when putting in his headphones. He even tweeted "The United States cannot continue to make such bad, one-sided trade deals. There are only so many jobs we can give up. No more!" He's even against raising minimum wage so that he can increase competition, and make more job opportunities so that people don't have to live on minimum wage. He wants jobs, and it's obvious both in his past and in his campaign.

4. Honky Tonk Badonkadonk (2005) by Trace Adkins

Adkins was a competitor in the first season of Trump's Celebrity Apprentice, and while he didn't win, he did emerge victorious when he returned for the show's sixth run. It's that kind of fortitude that the Donald must surely respect, however this song is dedicated from Adkins to Trump for fun. The album of the song is even called "Songs About Me" (no doubt Don helped with that). The song is about a bar and a cute chick, If Donald had it his way, and the lyrics say, "it's so hard not to stare at that honky tonk badonkadonk." When I heard this song on his phone, I instantly knew that this was ACTUALLY D.T.'s phone…with a song like this, Donald surely gains my understanding of why he acts the way he does. He ain't afraid to yell out that some girl has a nice ass, and also I peeked at his pants, his is pretty huge too (and he talks out of it a lot).

5. To All The Girls I've Loved Before (1984) by Julio Iglesias and Willie Nelson

Here's the song that Donald has always loved, for many different reasons. During the 80's, Trump was getting big, debuting in the world of business, and had plenty gold-digging females latching to him. The song is to be dedicated to all of the one-night stands or failed relationships Willie Nelson and Julio Iglesias (who Trump says is an illegal immigrant due to his name and face…) have had, and it's their ballad to them all at once. It's iffy whether or not it's a country song, but if Trump has it listed in a country playlist, then I'll adhere by that ruling. This is one of Trump's personal anthems in many different ways. I'm gonna rapid fire some quotes that are probably a consequence of him loving this song.

•"I think the only difference between me and other candidates is that I'm more honest and my women are more beautiful."

•"My fingers are long and beautiful, as, it has been well documented, are various other parts of my body."

•"You know, it really doesn't matter what the media writes as long as you've got a young, and beautiful, piece of ass."

Yes, a candidate for the American presidency said all of these. Oh, and did I mention that he's also fighting for the women's vote in the race, making this ballad a shoe-in for his playlist.

When I asked him if there's anyone he repeatedly thinks about when this one comes on, he said.

6. Courtesy of the Red, White, and Blue (2002) by Toby Keith

This one’s a no brainer if you’ve heard the song.

If you haven’t…then congrats on reading an article about country music while not knowing anything about country music! I’m just kidding…sort of. This song takes a nice turn for destruction and American pride, stating that “we’ll put a boot in your ass, it’s the American way.” Don’t for one second tell me that this song is not one of Trump’s favorites, for crying out loud, he said America is TOO SOFT. Yeah, in Donald Trump’s country, it’s fine to use violence to stop a protestor, or even mess with the “US of A.” Hell, the man’s even been quoted saying “I’d like to punch him in the face,” when regarding a protestor. Hell, Trump even wants to expand Guantanamo and send even more prisoners there. This song definitely get’s Trump going every day, seeing it on his phone, I realized that it embodies his campaign.

Now that you've been granted access to a portion of Trump's iTunes, don't you feel just about as ready as he is to become president? Each song is on that playlist to keep his finely combed hair in shape, and Ivanka Trump panties out of a wad, and I don't blame him. If I had these songs blasting in my speakers each morning, I'm sure I'd begin to gain an insane amount of confidence of how to help America and I'd probably get pretty witty with some selfish comments. Trump loves his money, his women, "his" America, and himself, which is why he must've created this playlist. As I handed his phone back to him after my listen, he said to me, "One session of these songs, and you'll feel powerful enough to kick your own mother out of the country." So, a piece of advice to you is that if you want to become a billionaire and an overwhelmingly outgoing presidential candidate (or person, for that matter), then take note from this list, and do as it says.

Donald Trump: