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These Tweets About Bad First Dates Will Make You Want To Stay Safe At Home Forever

"You'll need to crawl in through this side. That door don't open."

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1. She sounds lovely. 😁

2. Not really looking for notes, thanks.

Had a first date tonight. He had Googled me, watched a bunch of my videos, and had critiques to offer me on my performance. #badfirstdate

3. Oh, the mansplaining!

After tirelessly bragging about how geeky he was that I wouldn't understand, I pointed out his #LOTR references were #GoT #badfirstdate


4. Yeah, that's a no. Even for people not in the dental field.

Went on a date. Profile looked ok. This guy drives 5 hours to meet me and shows up without his teeth. I'm in the dental field. #badfirstdate

5. Jesus, take the wheel.

@DocThompsonShow @KAL79 #WhatILearnedToday #badfirstdate In Bible college, the girl made me call to get her dad's approval, then stood me up

6. You know Lyft exists, right?

#badfirstdate He drove, orders a beer and tells me his license is suspended for DUI #WhatILearnedToday @DocThompsonShow

7. There's nothing worse than being rude, after all.

Guy kept answering his phone, and ignoring me. His excuse was that he didn't want to be rude to the people that were calling. #BadFirstDate


8. Again β€” Lyft, Uber. These things are your friends.

"You'll need to crawl in through this side. That door don't open." #badfirstdate

9. I mean, I'm all about transparency, but save something for the second date.

1st date don't discuss u were part of 3some roommate deal and had 2 b told 2 brush your teeth and shower #badfirstdate @Starbucks #outofhere

10. I don't think that's how it's supposed to work.

#badfirstdate @AmericasMorning Was set up on a blind date. Met him out. Guy obviously didn't realize bc he brought a date w him πŸ˜‚ #awkward

11. Even the young ones are not immune to terrible first dates.

Junior prom, ditched at the dance so he could dance with his ex girlfriend who ditched her date to make her current BF jealous #badfirstdate

12. How generous! 😑

Telling the story about one of the worst first dates I've ever been on πŸ‘ #badfirstdate

13. Bigly mistake.

This man is the Donald Trump of first dates. Won't shut the fuck up but never says anything of substance. #badfirstdate

14. But hey, sometimes it actually works out anyway!

#BadFirstDate my wife now drank a Lil to much and threw up allover my nice leather coat and inside of my car was a 1st date

15. Play it cool, play it cool...

Confused a big pile of what appeared to be guacamole. It was Wasabi. Pain for days. And days. #imanidiot #badfirstdate

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