1.Sometimes we are told to lie to you about whether someone is available or in the office at all.
2.We have definitely hung up on someone on purpose, but passed it off as an accident.
3.We've mastered "looking busy," and most of the time when you see us typing, we're just doing personal stuff online.
4.We wish you'd understand that when you're calling to complain to someone that we are just the person who answers the phone, not the person you want to complain to...
5....and the nicer you are to us, the better chance you have of actually speaking to the person you're trying to reach.
6.We hear all the good office gossip.
7.We've put people on hold for no other reason than the fact that they were annoying and we needed a minute to breathe.
8.As much as we'd like to help answer your complicated question, you're gonna have to repeat it all once we've connected you to the right person.
9.We've perfected our perky phone voice.
10.And we often fake it when we're not in the mood to be perky.
11.In fact, sometimes the voice you hear is upbeat and friendly, but we are actually rolling our eyes and making stabby gestures with a pen.
12.If you call less than five minutes before we close, we might just "miss" the call.
13.After taking multiple calls in a row, it's always disappointing to see that it's only actually been about 10 minutes, even though it felt like an hour had passed.
14.Valentine's Day is a nightmare when we have to sign for a million deliveries for everyone but us.
15.We have totally flipped through magazines before sorting them into the rightful employee mailboxes.
16.We really would prefer to just transfer you to someone's voicemail than actually write down your message.
17.And finally, we see everything that happens in our lobby.
