Nicole Byer Found Poop In Her Airplane Blanket And The Story Is Insane

    "There was poop in my blanket! Give me an airplane!"

    Loosely Exactly Nicole star Nicole Byer recently shared a horrifying (but also hilarious) story about finding poop in her airline blanket on Conan. Be warned: Your biggest fears about airplane germs are real, and even worse than you imagined.

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    Nicole's harrowing story starts with a sentence nobody should ever say.

    That's right. POOP. In her BLANKET.

    And yes, this blanket was wrapped in a sealed bag.

    Upon descent, Nicole got a little chilly — so she opened the sealed blanket and "a little brown crumble" fell out on her.

    Eventually, she realized that it ~hath~ be a piece of poo. Shit. Caca. Human fucking feces. 💩💩💩💩💩💩

    After the plane landed, she showed the flight attendant and his response was...something.

    Before making her connecting flight, Nicole tweeted the airline to let them know what happened.

    Dear @Delta the grossest thing happened on my flight. I opened my blanket & there was a literal piece of shit. How…

    Their initial compensation offer of $250 Delta Dollars was not quite what Nicole expected — or deserved!

    Nicole turned down the airline's offer for more — under the condition she couldn't talk about the incident — because she had a public duty to tell her story.

    You really are doing the Lord's work, Nicole. 🙌