1.
Perfecting the art of liquid eyeliner and knowing you'll never be more proud of yourself.
2.
Peeling a Bioré pore strip off your nose and then getting to look at all of the gross, satisfying gunk it pulled out.
3.
Taking off devil items like earrings and headbands and experiencing a feeling of euphoria from eliminating the dull pain that haunted you all day.
4.
Taking off all of your rings and watching as the indentations on your fingers slowly disappear.
5.
Sliding your feet into a pair of heels that fit so perfectly it's as if they were made for you.
6.
And then taking off said pair of torturous heels and setting your poor, beautiful feet free.
7.
Realizing you didn't get any blood on your sheets while on your period.
8.
Letting your leg hair grow in the winter and not giving a fuck.
9.
Shaving your legs after two months and watching the water wash away all that hair off of your razor.
10.
And then taking those freshly shaved legs and slipping under clean sheets.
11.
Putting your hair up in a perfectly smooth ponytail with zero bumps on your very first try.
12.
Rediscovering a forgotten favorite buried in your closet and feeling like you've won the lottery.
13.
And realizing it's an outfit you have had since HIGH SCHOOL and you can still fit into it.
14.
Opening a brand-new tube of lipstick and marveling at its perfect, untouched form.
15.
Watching as the manicurist peels off your gel nails while you try to contain your excitement.
16.
Taking off a pair of Spanx and knowing that your previously smushed organs are so happy with you.
17.
Letting out a fart after holding it in all night while you were on a date.
18.
Taking your bra off as soon as you enter your house and shouting "YES" to no one in particular.
19.
More importantly, taking off your sports bra and feeling your rib cage expand back to its normal size.
20.
Walking around naked when no one is home and letting your boobs be the boobs they were always meant to be.
21.
And, finally, finding a bobby pin and realizing that your life is going to be OK after all.
