17 Old-Timey Words You Need To Start Using In Your Everyday Life

    Tell that ultracrepidarian in your news feed to delete their account.

    1. Ultracrepidarian: a person who offers opinions and advice on subjects they know little to nothing about.

    Example: I had to unfollow my mom's cousin Roger because he was just too much of an ultracrepidarian about feminist issues.

    2. Callipygian: having shapely buttocks

    Example: Yas, this dress makes me look callipygian AF.

    3. Cacoethes: the irresistible urge to do something unadvisable

    Example: Hey, what are you up to this weekend? I've got some money to burn and I'm overcome with cacoethes. You up for getting into some trouble?

    4. Kakistocracy: government by the least qualified or worst people.

    Example: She wondered how she was going to survive another 2–4 years living with this kakistocracy.

    5. Grufeling: to lie wrapped up, and in a comfortable-looking manner; used in ridicule

    Example: Sure, Jim...just stay on the couch grufeling while I get the house cleaned up for YOUR mother's visit. That seems fair.

    6. Shivviness: the uncomfortable feeling of wearing new or rough underwear

    Example: I don't care if I'm at work. These new briefs are giving me such shivviness, I have to go take them off and spend the rest of the day going commando at my desk.

    7. Twattle: idle gossip or chatter

    Example: Let's meet up on Sunday for brunch and a twattle session.

    8. Uhtceare: lying awake and worrying before dawn

    Example: Thanks to This Is Us, I had a severe case of uhtceare, even though I haven't used my crockpot in over two months.

    9. Snollygoster: a shrewd, unprincipled person

    Example: That fucking snollygoster cheated and lied his way into the promotion that Martha deserved.

    10. Groke: someone who stares at you while you eat, hoping you will share your food with them

    Example: Joey went out with a Tinder match who turned out to be a total groke, which was a deal breaker for him.

    11. Slugabed: someone who stays in bed after the usual or proper time to get up

    Example: I skipped brunch because I chose to be a slugabed and I'm not sorry.

    12. Effluvium: an invisible emanation; an offensive exhalation or smell

    Example: That effluvium in the air? It's Carmen. She's pregnant and can't really control it, poor thing.

    13. Barbigerous: having a beard; bearded

    Example: We had a heated debate over whether Jake Gyllenhaal is more attractive fresh faced or barbigerous, but you know what? There's no wrong answer.

    14. Abligurition: spending lavish amounts of money on food and drink

    Example: Honestly, I'm just looking for a job where I can make enough to support my chosen lifestyle of abligurition.

    15. Crinkum-Crankum: full of twists and turns

    Example: Did you see Get Out? Man, that movie was so crinkum-crankum!

    16. Librocubicularist: a person who reads in bed

    Example: Yeah, I'm more of a librocuicularist than the kind of person who would go to a bar to see your band at 10pm on a Thursday, but thanks for the invite.

    17. Fudgel: pretending to work while not doing anything productive

    Example: Doing BuzzFeed quizzes is an excellent way to fudgel at work.