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How To Turn Classic Thanksgiving Foods Into Boozy Cocktails

Because DRUNKSGIVING is here. Drunksgiving is real.

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Alice Mongkongllite / Via BuzzFeed Life

On Thanksgiving, tradition dictates that we choose between getting absolutely hammered and cooking an entire Thanksgiving meal.

MTV / Via giphy.com

Well, I don't want to live in a world where I can't have it all.

Which is why we created a menu ~inspired~ by all the classic Thanksgiving dishes, but with 100% more booze.

FX / Via giphy.com

You're welcome.

1. The star of Drunksgiving: THE WILD TURKEY. This Bloody Mary-esque cocktail is made with Wild Turkey Bourbon (get it?) and chicken bouillon.

Lauren Zaser/Alice Mongkonglllite / Via BuzzFeed Life

It's extra strong and you could probably just drink this instead of eating any actual turkey.

The Wild TurkeyServes 42 cups tomato juice3/4 cup (6 oz.) Wild Turkey bourbon (if using another lower proof bourbon, go ahead and use a whole cup/8oz.)½ cup pickle juice1 Tbsp. hot sauce of your choice2 tsp. Worcestershire sauce2 chicken bouillon cubes2 Tbsp. fresh lemon juice (from about 1 lemon)Celery stalks and carrots, for garnishCombine tomato juice, Wild Turkey, pickle juice, hot sauce, Worcestershire sauce, bouillon cubes, and lemon juice in a large pitcher; stir until the bouillon cubes dissolve. Divide among pint glasses filled with ice and garnish with celery and carrots.
Lauren Zaser/ Alice Mongkongllite / Via BuzzFeed

The Wild Turkey

Serves 4

2 cups tomato juice

3/4 cup (6 oz.) Wild Turkey bourbon (if using another lower proof bourbon, go ahead and use a whole cup/8oz.)

½ cup pickle juice

1 Tbsp. hot sauce of your choice

2 tsp. Worcestershire sauce

2 chicken bouillon cubes

2 Tbsp. fresh lemon juice (from about 1 lemon)

Celery stalks and carrots, for garnish

Combine tomato juice, Wild Turkey, pickle juice, hot sauce, Worcestershire sauce, bouillon cubes, and lemon juice in a large pitcher; stir until the bouillon cubes dissolve. Divide among pint glasses filled with ice and garnish with celery and carrots.

2. And what would this holiest of food holidays be with out mashed potatoes? Vodka is made from potatoes. Close enough.

The butter cube garnish is optional, but not really.
Lauren Zaser/ Alice Mongkongllite / Via BuzzFeed

The butter cube garnish is optional, but not really.

You could really take things to the NEXT LEVEL by actually *carving a martini glass out of a potato*.

The Smashed PotatoServes 1½ cup (4 oz.) of the best potato vodka you can findlots of ice1 cube butter, frozenShake or stir the vodka with lots of ice. Strain into a martini glass. Garnish with a cube of frozen butter.
Lauren Zaser/ Alice Mongkongllite / Via BuzzFeed

The Smashed Potato

Serves 1

½ cup (4 oz.) of the best potato vodka you can find

lots of ice

1 cube butter, frozen

Shake or stir the vodka with lots of ice. Strain into a martini glass. Garnish with a cube of frozen butter.

3. This gimlet is just like stuffing, except instead of bread it's just a bunch of gin. Same/same.

Lauren Zaser/ Alice Mongkongllite / Via BuzzFeed Life

The gin is shaken with celery seeds and rosemary. When you drink it, you'll SWEAR you are diving into a huge pan of classic stuffing.

The Stuffed GimletServes 4½ lemon3 tsp. celery seed, divided1 Tbsp. sugar¾ cup (6 oz.) lemon juice¾ cup (6 oz.) gin¾ cup (6 oz.) simple syrup (recipe at bottom of post)celery leaves and rosemary sprigs for garnishRub the rim of a 4 coupe glasses with a cut lemon. Mix 2 teaspoons celery seeds and sugar. Dip the rims of the glasses in the celery seed mixture.Combine lemon juice, gin, simple syrup and the remaining 1 teaspoon celery seeds in a cocktail shaker filled with ice. Shake furiously until the outside of the shaker is frosty and almost too cold to hold. Strain into the rimmed coupe glasses and garnish with celery leaves and rosemary.
Lauren Zaser/ Alice Mongkongllite / Via BuzzFeed

The Stuffed Gimlet

Serves 4

½ lemon

3 tsp. celery seed, divided

1 Tbsp. sugar

¾ cup (6 oz.) lemon juice

¾ cup (6 oz.) gin

¾ cup (6 oz.) simple syrup (recipe at bottom of post)

celery leaves and rosemary sprigs for garnish

Rub the rim of a 4 coupe glasses with a cut lemon. Mix 2 teaspoons celery seeds and sugar. Dip the rims of the glasses in the celery seed mixture.

Combine lemon juice, gin, simple syrup and the remaining 1 teaspoon celery seeds in a cocktail shaker filled with ice. Shake furiously until the outside of the shaker is frosty and almost too cold to hold. Strain into the rimmed coupe glasses and garnish with celery leaves and rosemary.

4. Sweet potato casserole does not contain rum, but it should.

Lauren Zaser/ Alice Mongkongllite / Via BuzzFeed Life

If there's anything more Thanksgiving than floating marshmallows on butterscotch schnapps and then dousing them in 101 proof rum and then lighting them on fire, I don't want to know about it.

The Toasted Sweet PotatoServes 4½ cup (4 oz.) butterscotch schnapps½ cup (4 oz.) 101 proof dark rumlots of large marshmallowsPlace butterscotch schnapps and rum in the bottom of a mini cast-iron skillet. Top with marshmallows and light them on fire. If don't want to light your cocktail on fire, go ahead and just pour the schnapps and rum into 4 shot glasses and top each with a marshmallow for serving.
Lauren Zaser/ Alice Mongkongllite / Via BuzzFeed

The Toasted Sweet Potato

Serves 4

½ cup (4 oz.) butterscotch schnapps

½ cup (4 oz.) 101 proof dark rum

lots of large marshmallows

Place butterscotch schnapps and rum in the bottom of a mini cast-iron skillet. Top with marshmallows and light them on fire. If don't want to light your cocktail on fire, go ahead and just pour the schnapps and rum into 4 shot glasses and top each with a marshmallow for serving.

5. If cranberry sauce could get you drunk, it would be a lot more popular.

Lauren Zaser/ Alice Mongkongllite / Via BuzzFeed Life

This drink tastes deceptively tame (look how drunk those squirrels are), so be careful.

The Tipsy Cranberry Serves 41 cup cranberry juice (juice, not cocktail)1 cup tequila (blanco or reposado)½ cup fresh lime juice (from about 3 limes)½ cup St. Germain½ cup simple syrup (recipe at bottom of post)1 can soda water or seltzerCranberries, for garnishCombine cranberry juice, tequila, lime juice, St. Germain, and simple syrup in a glass measuring cup or pitcher. Pour this over highball glasses filled with ice about halfway up. Top with soda water and garnish with cranberries.
Lauren Zaser/ Alice Mongkongllite / Via BuzzFeed

The Tipsy Cranberry

Serves 4

1 cup cranberry juice (juice, not cocktail)

1 cup tequila (blanco or reposado)

½ cup fresh lime juice (from about 3 limes)

½ cup St. Germain

½ cup simple syrup (recipe at bottom of post)

1 can soda water or seltzer

Cranberries, for garnish

Combine cranberry juice, tequila, lime juice, St. Germain, and simple syrup in a glass measuring cup or pitcher. Pour this over highball glasses filled with ice about halfway up. Top with soda water and garnish with cranberries.

6. Drinkable apple pie: Made possible by Fireball.

Lauren Zaser/Alice Mongkongllite / Via BuzzFeed Life

Seriously, this cocktail tastes so much like apple pie, I should be given a million dollars for inventing it.

Fireball à la Mode Serves 41 ½ cups unsweetened apple cider¾ cup (6 oz.) Fireball¼ cup fresh lemon juice½ apple, thinly sliced for garnishApple slices for garnishCute little lattice tops and whipped cream, optionalCombine cider, Fireball and lemon juice in a large measuring cup or pitcher filled with ice. Stir a few minutes (this is to dilute it slightly so you don’t pass out from Fireball upon first sip). Divide this among 4 mason jars or glasses filled with ice and garnish with apple slices and cinnamon sticks. For extra credit Pinterest Points, go ahead and add those cute lil’ pie crust lattices.
Lauren Zaser/ Alice Mongkongllite / Via BuzzFeed

Fireball à la Mode

Serves 4

1 ½ cups unsweetened apple cider

¾ cup (6 oz.) Fireball

¼ cup fresh lemon juice

½ apple, thinly sliced for garnish

Apple slices for garnish

Cute little lattice tops and whipped cream, optional

Combine cider, Fireball and lemon juice in a large measuring cup or pitcher filled with ice. Stir a few minutes (this is to dilute it slightly so you don’t pass out from Fireball upon first sip). Divide this among 4 mason jars or glasses filled with ice and garnish with apple slices and cinnamon sticks.

For extra credit Pinterest Points, go ahead and add those cute lil’ pie crust lattices.

SIMPLE SYRUP

Combine 1 cup sugar and 1 cup water and stir until all the sugar is dissolved. This will never go bad, so feel free to make a ton and keep it in a jar in the fridge.

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