On Thanksgiving, tradition dictates that we choose between getting absolutely hammered and cooking an entire Thanksgiving meal.
Which is why we created a menu ~inspired~ by all the classic Thanksgiving dishes, but with 100% more booze.
1. The star of Drunksgiving: THE WILD TURKEY. This Bloody Mary-esque cocktail is made with Wild Turkey Bourbon (get it?) and chicken bouillon.
It's extra strong and you could probably just drink this instead of eating any actual turkey.
2. And what would this holiest of food holidays be with out mashed potatoes? Vodka is made from potatoes. Close enough.
You could really take things to the NEXT LEVEL by actually *carving a martini glass out of a potato*.
3. This gimlet is just like stuffing, except instead of bread it's just a bunch of gin. Same/same.
The gin is shaken with celery seeds and rosemary. When you drink it, you'll SWEAR you are diving into a huge pan of classic stuffing.
4. Sweet potato casserole does not contain rum, but it should.
If there's anything more Thanksgiving than floating marshmallows on butterscotch schnapps and then dousing them in 101 proof rum and then lighting them on fire, I don't want to know about it.
5. If cranberry sauce could get you drunk, it would be a lot more popular.
This drink tastes deceptively tame (look how drunk those squirrels are), so be careful.
6. Drinkable apple pie: Made possible by Fireball.
Seriously, this cocktail tastes so much like apple pie, I should be given a million dollars for inventing it.
SIMPLE SYRUP
Combine 1 cup sugar and 1 cup water and stir until all the sugar is dissolved. This will never go bad, so feel free to make a ton and keep it in a jar in the fridge.