33 Hysterical Tweets About Modern Dating That Will Make You Cackle (And Cringe)

    So everyone is struggling these days? Cool.

    Dating can be really great — or the worst of what humanity has to offer. But dating in 2022, specifically? Cursed. Excruciating. Something wicked this way comes.

    You really need to know what you want (or don't want) out of a relationship. Dream big!


    If I had a girlfriend I would eat cereal with her

    Twitter: @Gtooowavyy


    on the one hand i want a girlfriend who knows as much about star wars as i do and we can just be cute lil nerds. but on the other hand i wand a girlfriend who knows nothing about star wars and i get to show her everything and impress her with all my useless little knowledge

    Twitter: @sansaskywalkers


    cute first date idea: u express vague interest in me & i become violently obsessed with u until we both hate me

    Twitter: @dznyella


    we encounter far too much of the revealed male ankle in this society

    Twitter: @flurtcobain

    Want: a modest man with long pants.

    Do not, under any circumstances, want: a trollopy man with the audacity to reveal his ankles publicly.


    ○ single ○ dating ◉ waiting for someone to give me an annotated copy of my favorite book

    Twitter: @bookaddictaera


    I’m not built for modern dating, I’m too sensitive!!! so I’m just gonna sit here and be gorgeous until my eventual life altering meet cute!!!

    Twitter: @hansmollman

    Once that's done, it's time to download the apps!


    some people have a girlfriend. some people have a boyfriend. i have over 1,000 hours in animal crossing new horizons.

    Twitter: @mayahorizons

    No, wait, that's not the kind of app I was talking about!!!


    I know dating apps aren’t “games” but I think you should earn little coins every time you avoid a trap or dodge a bad guy or unlock a new level

    Twitter: @omgskr

    OK, fine. If you need to gamify dating just to make it tolerable, you have my permission.


    Twitter: @poutinesmoothie


    My tinder profile shows me crying holding a mediocre fish.

    Twitter: @Jimmybeer7

    We stan a sobbing mediocre seafood king.


    nobody talks about the struggles of dating while trans. how am i supposed to find people when half the trans bitches on tinder have my name.

    Twitter: @kindaunsolved


    all respect for pillow princesses but why is this person on tinder saying shes a pillow princess looking for other pillow princesses..... girl who is doing the work

    Twitter: @jubricant


    Ran across someone who had a pic of Harley and Joker in their dating profile. Lmao what a red flag

    Twitter: @msdanifernandez


    Free dating app bio: Looking for a man who wants to undo my bra not my rights

    Twitter: @omgskr

    Great idea!


    my sister just sent me this screenshot from her tinder lmfao.

    Twitter: @LeUnaBalla



    someone on this dating app just opened with "how are you enjoying the few rights you have left?"

    Twitter: @AnnaAkana

    On second thought, maybe people should stick to small talk.


    I’m doing tech support on tinder what the fuck has happened to my life 😂

    Twitter: @LucasSpray


    i let cole have my tinder for an hour and he got a man to fall in love with me by what i can only describe it as cyberbullying??

    Twitter: @Tfeens_

    Don't forget to check in with yourself. Are the apps helping you fulfill your emotional goals?


    Dating apps do not make dating easier. They make getting a first date easier, but then, after that, you are still yourself.

    Twitter: @ginnyhogan_


    Every time I redownload hinge or bumble, I sink further into depression 💀

    Twitter: @savanahnoelll


    I still can’t believe I went on a tinder date an hour away and I paid for everything and then he cash apped me for half of the stuff after the date and then when I said I didn’t want to continue the relationship HE REQUESTED HIS MONEY BACK… anyway I redeleted tinder

    Twitter: @CourtneyQtee


    Twitter: @bartoszmpl

    But let's say you start dating someone and it's going well. (Unheard of, but humor me for a sec.) What happens next?


    dating someone new is so crazy. like one day you’re strangers and the next? they’ve made eye contact with your asshole. life comes at you fast.

    Twitter: @heckgirI


    Sex life is like Pokémon, when I learn a new move I have to forget an old one 😔

    Twitter: @HeIsMaxBarth


    The hardest part about dating someone way younger than you is when you express to your friends early on that you’re worried your maturity levels will be different, and they’re like, “I think it’ll be fine.”

    Twitter: @ginnyhogan_


    anybody need a bf? mine just got a bacon egg and cheese on a cinnamon raisin bagel

    Twitter: @emilydelaney_


    They should do a show where couples try to cook a meal missing an important ingredient one of them was supposed to buy earlier.

    Twitter: @YSylon

    So yeah, dating can be rough. But some people actually make it down the aisle, so let's see how Married Twitter™️ is doing!


    I’d say the best part of being married to me is that when we’re watching TV I will always pause the show to tell you that the actress was actually pregnant when they filmed that scene, that’s why her shirt is so billowy

    Twitter: @missmulrooney


    My wife was telling me a story and she said "for example lets say you are handsome" I haven’t recovered 🤣🤣🤣

    Twitter: @Thee_GangsterGp


    I POLITELY listened to my husband's explanation of the Star Wars universe and when he asked if I had any questions, I opened my mouth and made the 90s internet dial up tone noise

    Twitter: @_hood_mona_lisa


    Twitter: @gourmetspud


    Me: So my husband -- First grader: You have a husband? Me: I do, the whole time you've known me. First grader: Oh. I always thought you were feral. Me: Er, do you mean 'single'? First grader: Whatever the word is that you use for stray cats. 🙀

    Twitter: @TeacherOnTopic


    To be fair my husband chose to play a deeply religious virgin and I was annoyed as shit

    Twitter: @mesallyann

    So everyone is struggling these days? Cool. But here's a hot tip: You'll struggle less if you follow all these hilarious people on Twitter!