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    19 Hilarious Tweets By Women That Will Make You Laugh Like A Braying Donkey

    "Whenever you see pics of adorable babies with 'I voted' today stickers, remember: That's voter fraud." —@juliareinstein

    Here's the $44 billion question: Which social media platform are y'all moving to when Twitter kicks it? Everyone's hyping up Mastodon, but I don't love that it feels like the Discord to Tumblr's Slack — and if you understand that sentence, then you're legally required to touch grass.

    what if instead of looking for a new social media platform, we all just got really into writing erotica about 17th century French nuns

    Twitter: @Gaby_Moss

    Not to sound Old™️, but I miss the days of MySpace, Xanga, and AIM. Just imagine all the amazing away messages you could write with lyrics from Midnights! 'Twould be a modern-day renaissance.

    Make sure you follow these funny ladies on Twitter...and maybe Mastodon too? TBD.

    1.

    when u make an excuse not to go out & they come up with a solution

    United Artists Television / Via Twitter: @em_Lazzy

    2.

    My 7 yo just asked ME when was his birthdate. I told him his birthday and the exact time of birth. Him: you know too much of my personal business.

    Twitter: @themultiplemom

    3.

    inflation has gone too far. abt to start dressing sexy on grocery runs so random old men cover me @ checkout 😭😭

    Twitter: @becca_oneal

    4.

    This lady on tiktok has one of them hairless cats… And his name is NUDACRIS. Just wanted y’all to know.

    Twitter: @ShenaeCurry

    5.

    the way simon cowell used to terrorize society and we would just let him

    Twitter: @cursedhive

    6.

    I send way too many nudes for them to never get leaked. And when they do, the most embarrassing part - by far - will be knowing that I am the one who leaked them.

    Twitter: @ginnyhogan_

    7.

    my therapist: how are u? me: im ok how are u?

    Twitter: @Noorthevirgo

    8.

    “dasha is dating louis ck” none of those words are in the bible

    Twitter: @1AbbyRoad

    9.

    i can't explain it but this caters to the female gaze https://t.co/cn1YCs1oIR

    Twitter: @hansmollman / Via Twitter: @Dascondor1

    10.

    Imagine it’s your life goal to run 26 miles, it’s the hardest thing you’ve ever done, you’ve trained for years, and the same day you finally do it, so do a million other people. That’s the NYC marathon.

    Twitter: @ginnyhogan_

    11.

    Signaling for the driver of the car with a Wharton license plate to roll down his window and asking “what’s your favorite thing about business?”

    Twitter: @BrotiGupta

    12.

    My 3-year-old is devastated because her birthday balloon deflated. She’s begging me to take her to the gas station so she can fill it up. Seems like a bad idea but also I’m curious?

    Twitter: @missmulrooney

    13.

    one time on mushrooms i decided i should be living off nuts & seeds like a little squirrel, so I went to Whole Foods and blew my whole paycheck on nuts & seeds. then all week I had no money and DID have to live off nuts & seeds, and let me tell you I WAS SO WRONG. it sucked

    Twitter: @ElyKreimendahl

    14.

    A24 / Via Twitter: @lolennui

    15.

    whenever you see pics of adorable babies with "i voted" stickers today, remember: that's voter fraud

    Twitter: @juliareinstein

    16.

    sometimes my dad will come into the room i'm in and demand i immediately down whatever drink I am currently drinking just so he can put the cup I'm currently using in the dishwasher, even if i've just made it and he's not putting the dishwasher on for another hour

    Twitter: @hansmollman

    17.

    The funniest thing that’s ever happened to me as a parent is once my 2yo was having a full on meltdown and accidentally kicked an electronic toy dinosaur and it went “Can you feed me?” and my son, through massive sobs, goes “no I can’t right now, dinosaur” and continued screaming

    Twitter: @clhubes

    18.

    me when the maintenance man comes & my man not home

    Viacom Media Networks / Via Twitter: @lilxinvis

    19.

    We need a pop star that's the opposite of Mariah: someone who pops up late in the year with a hit song about hating Christmas. A Wariah

    Twitter: @rajandelman

    Don't miss last week's funniest tweets by women!

    25 Hilarious Tweets By Women That Survived Elon Musk's First Full Week As Twitter CEO