Skip To Content

    22 Hilarious Tweets By Women That Made Me Laugh Like A Vaguely Unhinged Movie Villain (But, Like, In A Good Way)

    "sir u are 27 years old, u don’t have a thing for 'milfs' those women are your PEERS" —@bb_apes

    It's Christmas rom-com season, and I, for one, am incredibly excited to watch delicate white women with tell-it-to-ya-straight Black and/or gay BFFs either move to or escape from a major city to fall in love with the hunky [butcher, baker, candlestick-maker, etc.] who's been closely guarding his heart ever since his ex betrayed him several years ago!!! ❤️💚

    Nick Sagar and Vanessa Hudgens smiling at each other in a kitchen scene from The Princess Switch

    While you binge every holiday movie on your streaming platform of choice, make sure you follow all these funny ladies on Twitter!


    Therapist: You saw the red flags though. right? Me: I thought it was a carnival

    Twitter: @Noorthevirgo


    PBS Distribution / Via Twitter: @ivyluvx


    Stockholm Syndrome but it’s me thanking my 2.5yo for sleeping “all the way until 5:17am without waking up once!!!”

    Twitter: @clhubes


    best part about a public toilet seat is they come heated

    Twitter: @MykaFox


    Twitter: @SydneyBattle


    if twitter really is dying, my confession is that i never noticed the comma in that one pride and prejudice quote, so up until recently i always read it as "you have bewitched me body and me soul" in a leprachaun voice and i never understood how people found that romantic

    Twitter: @oyinwrites


    Twitter: @lgbtzenin


    sir u are 27 years old, u don’t have a thing for “milfs” those women are your PEERS

    Twitter: @bb_apes


    no matter how small you try to make that “unsubscribe” at the bottom of an email, I WILL FIND IT

    Playing With Time Inc. / Via Twitter: @em_Lazzy


    on one hand being home for the holidays is good bc my mom cooks all my food and it’s like i have a personal chef but on the other hand it’s like why won’t this personal chef stop asking me about when im planning to get married and have kids

    Twitter: @baddanadanabad


    Twitter: @notkayyx


    I want to tell this man I think he's the epitome of toxic masculinity, but I don't want him to know I think he's masculine

    Twitter: @ginnyhogan_


    something about LA is that you can be at a party and the hottest people you’ve ever seen will start talking about the times they’ve encountered ghosts and you’re just supposed to be like woah yeah i’ve heard that happens

    Twitter: @upstreamculotte


    me and my girlies talking about your weird penis

    Twitter: @aallleeexxxxxx1


    “Thats rich coming from you Jessica.” LMFAO love it

    Twitter: @nottydesignss


    Twitter: @PositivelyHani


    I once thought I was in a relationship with this girl so I asked her if she’d mind bringing guacamole to a party I was throwing, and she was like “oh, I think you’re confused….we’re not at please bring guacamole level.”

    Twitter: @ElyKreimendahl


    *choosing a ringtone* me: what sound pairs best with a jolt of anxiety?

    Twitter: @LizerReal


    I just need you to see the stairs in an apartment I viewed. Am I a mountain goat?

    Twitter: @ezzzzzzx


    when will it be my turn to take the wrong ski lift and accidentally go down a double black diamond run, screaming with my arms flailing the whole time, but somehow i stay upright and then suddenly i'm in a race and i win the olympic gold medal but i keep going down and then sudde

    Twitter: @caitiedelaney


    me replying back to people .02 seconds after they text me

    United Plankton Pictures / Nickelodeon Animation Studio / Via Twitter: @Noorthevirgo


    he’s making a list? and he’s checking it twice? santa claus is neurodivergent confirmed

    Twitter: @taylorgarron