1.
There's very little to recommend the Canaries. It's basically pine trees and nothing else.
2.
Why would anyone choose to visit?
3.
Life there is entirely colourless. The Canaries are boring and grey.
4.
If you're after idyllic beaches, try the Caribbean. Because you won't find them in the Canaries.
5.
Into gorgeous sunsets? Try Café del Mar in Ibiza. Sunsets in the Canaries are pretty drab and disappointing, tbh.
6.
There's basically nothing there other than sand dunes.
7.
There's no real beauty to be found anywhere.
8.
If it's dramatic cliffs you're after, you'd honestly be better off in England.
9.
There are no modern cities in the Canaries. It's a backwards kind of place, forever stuck in the last century.
10.
The Canaries are useless. Absolutely nothing of consequence happens there.
11.
And if you're a nature lover, visit Australia instead. The Canaries aren't for you.
12.
I mean, it's not like anyone could come across this waterfall in Azuaje, Gran Canaria and think they were in the middle of the Amazon or something.
13.
Canary Islanders only eat bananas. You'll be starving hungry and bored because they literally eat nothing else.
14.
Seriously, nothing else. Only bananas. They certainly don't have any local delicacies that make you cry with how good they taste.
15.
You'll find nothing extraordinary in the Canary Islands.
16.
There's simply nothing there to fire the imagination.
17.
Crystal-clear waters? You must be thinking of Bali.
18.
Plus there's so much light pollution in the Canaries you can never even see the stars.
19.
The architecture is unremarkable, basically the same as you'll find everywhere else in Spain.
20.
Nothing in these islands fills you with peace and calm.
21.
Nothing will make you say, "Am I really still in Spain?"
22.
The terrain is mind-numbingly dull. I mean, what region of Spain doesn't have an other-worldly volcanic landscape? Those are ten-a-penny.
23.
What do people even do in the Canaries? It's just such an awful, tedious place.
