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    23 Reasons To Avoid The Canary Islands Like The Fucking Plague

    They're very far away and there's nothing to see.

    1. There's very little to recommend the Canaries. It's basically pine trees and nothing else.


    Icod de los vinos, Tenerife

    2. Why would anyone choose to visit?

    Kotangens / Getty Images

    Los Hervideros, Lanzarote

    3. Life there is entirely colourless. The Canaries are boring and grey.

    Lunamarina / Getty Images

    Santa Cruz de La Palma

    4. If you're after idyllic beaches, try the Caribbean. Because you won't find them in the Canaries.

    Lunamarina / Getty Images

    El Reducto Beach, Arrecife, Lanzarote

    5. Into gorgeous sunsets? Try Café del Mar in Ibiza. Sunsets in the Canaries are pretty drab and disappointing, tbh.

    Lunamarina / Getty Images

    El Reducto Beach, Lanzarote

    6. There's basically nothing there other than sand dunes.

    7. There's no real beauty to be found anywhere.

    Lunamarina / Getty Images

    Las Teresitas, Santa Cruz de Tenerife

    8. If it's dramatic cliffs you're after, you'd honestly be better off in England.


    El Hierro

    9. There are no modern cities in the Canaries. It's a backwards kind of place, forever stuck in the last century.


    Puerto Cruz, Tenerife

    10. The Canaries are useless. Absolutely nothing of consequence happens there.

    Kuddl-24 / Getty Images


    11. And if you're a nature lover, visit Australia instead. The Canaries aren't for you.

    Emregologlu / Getty Images

    Because this image of Fuerteventura is hideous. HIDEOUS.

    12. I mean, it's not like anyone could come across this waterfall in Azuaje, Gran Canaria and think they were in the middle of the Amazon or something.

    Tamara_kulikova / Getty Images

    Nobody could think that. NOBODY.

    13. Canary Islanders only eat bananas. You'll be starving hungry and bored because they literally eat nothing else.

    Shootdiem / Getty Images

    14. Seriously, nothing else. Only bananas. They certainly don't have any local delicacies that make you cry with how good they taste.

    Tella_db / Getty Images

    15. You'll find nothing extraordinary in the Canary Islands.

    Albertoloyo / Getty Images

    This place in Gran Canaria, for example? Perfectly run of the mill. You'll find similar features in the outskirts of any city.

    16. There's simply nothing there to fire the imagination.

    Simon Dannhauer / Getty Images

    Gran Canaria

    17. Crystal-clear waters? You must be thinking of Bali.

    Anyaivanova / Getty Images

    18. Plus there's so much light pollution in the Canaries you can never even see the stars.

    Edpelu / Getty Images

    Guajara, Tenerife

    19. The architecture is unremarkable, basically the same as you'll find everywhere else in Spain.


    La Candelaria, Tenerife

    20. Nothing in these islands fills you with peace and calm.

    Bareta / Getty Images

    Maspalomas Dunes, Gran Canaria

    21. Nothing will make you say, "Am I really still in Spain?"

    Rosshelen / Getty Images


    22. The terrain is mind-numbingly dull. I mean, what region of Spain doesn't have an other-worldly volcanic landscape? Those are ten-a-penny.

    Rosshelen / Getty Images


    23. What do people even do in the Canaries? It's just such an awful, tedious place.

    Purestock / Getty Images


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