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21 Tweets About Trader Joe's That Are So Damn True

"A list of people who need to calm down: everyone in this Trader Joe's parking lot."

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[robbery] ME: put all the money in a bag! TRADER JOE'S EMPLOYEE: oh, you don't have your own?


Used to love mosh pits for the aggressive human contact but now I just shop at Trader Joe's on a Sunday


when the Trader Joe's cashier flirts with another customer I get jealous and buy a second frozen pizza so he thinks I'm having fun tonight


A list of people who need to calm down - everyone in the Trader Joes parking lot


[in extremely white guy voice] who ate all my trader joe's soy chorizo


I go to Trader Joe's for great deals and the opportunity to whisper "excuse me" 200 times.


If I ever did drugs I'd definitely do Trader Joe's peppermint joe joes


*picks the line with cute trader joes cashier*


Someday, someone is going to see me eating veggie straws or chocolate out of my Trader Joe's bag on the train and think, "She's the one."


All the rap guys try to impress women by buying expensive champagne at the club. That's basically me, only with Fiji Water at Trader Joe's


Being an adult is getting Trader Joe's gift cards for Christmas and being stoked on it



"We could go to Trader Joe's that'd be fun!" a glimpse into my social life


What's the worst thing you've had in your cart while running into an ex-hookup at Trader Joe's? Mine's 6 cans of clearly marked BEEF CHILI


My local Trader Joe's has run out of coconut oil. I just hope this doesn't end in violence


Trader Joes Real Estate Agent: How's the parking lot? Landlord: Terrible. Trader Joes Real Estate Agent: We'll take it!


My anxiety is never more crippling than when I'm checking out at Trader Joe's trying to figure out if I forgot to grab something


Trader Joe's plastic containers are so loud, no damn way you're sneaking a mini muffin. everyone heard it 😳🍞😂


I've never felt cooler than when a Trader Joe's cashier said "love this" to something I bought.


Woman in front of me at Trader Joe's is buying three bottles of wine and eggs. Is this when you say, "Get it, girl!"?


Why can't our government be run with the same friendly efficiency as a Trader Joe's?

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