1.So, you've been pretty happy renting and hanging out with your housemates so far.
2.But then your friends start getting full time jobs, or moving out with their partners, and you just get the feeling that everything's going to change.
3.So you do something crazy. You enter the property market.
4.But then you start doing your research, and you realise the house prices for places anywhere near the city.
5.You realise you can't afford to buy in the areas that you rent in. You're going to have to look further out.
6.You know it won't be easy, but the government says all you have to do is get a good job that pays good money.
7.You do everything you can to save enough money for a deposit. You take up extra shifts, you move back in with your parents. It's hard work.
8.You might even ask your significant other if they want to go halves in a shoebox apartment with you.
9.You start looking in your ideal suburbs. But you feel like you don't belong there.
10.You race around every weekend looking at properties. It's exhausting.
11.You start fantasising about sabotaging the property to lower the price, like talking loudly about how you hear the house is haunted at inspections.
12.You get some help from a mortgage broker, even though sometimes it feels like they're just a cog in a machine that is designed to screw you over.
13.You finally found something! You pay for a property report, get your finance sorted out, and you put in your application. But you know you shouldn't get your hopes up. Still, it feels like it's finally happening!
14.But the agent calls you, and some boomer's bought it for an investment property.
15.You try again, and this time it goes to an auction. You get there, and it's packed.
16.You know they're just pitting you against the other buyers, but what else can you do?
17.You make an early bid, even though the starting price is above what the real estate agent told you it would be.
18.But then more people start bidding.
19.It's a frenzy. Everyone is bidding way, way above the asking price and it just keeps going up.
20.It starts to feel like a conspiracy. Things like negative gearing and tax-free super make you feel like the people in the Capitol designed the Housing Games so they are impossible for people like you to win.
21.And then, reality dawns on you. You feel like you've been lied to your whole life. The odds are never in your favour.
22.But what does it matter? Soon enough, there'll be a sequel and you're going to go through it all over again.