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22 Ways Trying To Buy A House Is Like Being In The Hunger Games

Spoiler: The odds are never in your favour.

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1. So, you've been pretty happy renting and hanging out with your housemates so far.

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2. But then your friends start getting full time jobs, or moving out with their partners, and you just get the feeling that everything's going to change.

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3. So you do something crazy. You enter the property market.

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4. But then you start doing your research, and you realise the house prices for places anywhere near the city.

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5. You realise you can't afford to buy in the areas that you rent in. You're going to have to look further out.

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6. You know it won't be easy, but the government says all you have to do is get a good job that pays good money.

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7. You do everything you can to save enough money for a deposit. You take up extra shifts, you move back in with your parents. It's hard work.

8. You might even ask your significant other if they want to go halves in a shoebox apartment with you.

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9. You start looking in your ideal suburbs. But you feel like you don't belong there.

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10. You race around every weekend looking at properties. It's exhausting.

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11. You start fantasising about sabotaging the property to lower the price, like talking loudly about how you hear the house is haunted at inspections.

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12. You get some help from a mortgage broker, even though sometimes it feels like they're just a cog in a machine that is designed to screw you over.

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13. You finally found something! You pay for a property report, get your finance sorted out, and you put in your application. But you know you shouldn't get your hopes up. Still, it feels like it's finally happening!

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14. But the agent calls you, and some boomer's bought it for an investment property.

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15. You try again, and this time it goes to an auction. You get there, and it's packed.

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16. You know they're just pitting you against the other buyers, but what else can you do?

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17. You make an early bid, even though the starting price is above what the real estate agent told you it would be.

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18. But then more people start bidding.

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19. It's a frenzy. Everyone is bidding way, way above the asking price and it just keeps going up.

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20. It starts to feel like a conspiracy. Things like negative gearing and tax-free super make you feel like the people in the Capitol designed the Housing Games so they are impossible for people like you to win.

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21. And then, reality dawns on you. You feel like you've been lied to your whole life. The odds are never in your favour.

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22. But what does it matter? Soon enough, there'll be a sequel and you're going to go through it all over again.

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