8 Australian Political Scandals That Will Make You Blush

Everyone lost their minds over a rowdy office party that ended with a smashed marble table, but these scandals show Aussie politics can get so much dirtier.

1. The chair-sniffer

Sky News

Former WA opposition leader Troy Buswell admitted that he sniffed the chair of a female staffer in an office in Perth Parliament House in 2005.

His colleague told the West Australian that he sniffed her chair while groaning and making "sexually satisfying noises".

"Buswell opened the door really wide, grabbed a chair and started sniffing it, lifted it above his head sniffing it and breathing in, going 'aaww yeah'," she said.

Despite all that, he managed to survive a spill motion to dump him as leader.

2. The marital sex desk

pillmil.tk

If you felt sorry for the marble table smashed by a few partying Abbott ministers, spare a thought for the parliamentary desk that Hawke government minister John Brown had sex with his wife on.

His wife Jan Murray released a book in 2010, claiming that the desk used to belong to former PM John Curtin.

3. The party-crossed lovers

Auspic / AAPIMAGE

AAP

Star of the Australian Democrats (remember them?) Cheryl Kernot, shocked everyone when she defected to the Labor Party in 1997.

But later it was revealed that she was having an affair with Labor senator Gareth Evans that lasted for five years.

The pair denied the rumours for years until journalist Laurie Oakes exposed them in 2002, with an email from Evans describing their relationship as a "grand consuming passion."

4. The captain's prick

60 Minutes

At a book launch in 2014, Paul Keating revealed that former PM Bob Hawke was fond of hosting poolside meetings with his ministers at the lodge... completely nude.

“Gareth [Evans] and I went out there in suits one day, sweating, and there’s Bob in the nude,” Keating said.

“I said, don’t worry, midgets ...” and then made a hand gesture implying that the PM had a less than prime ministerial peen.

Hawke also admitted to committing adultery, but still managed to go on to be one of Australia's longest-serving prime ministers.

5. The foreign minister's fishnets

Polly Prissy Pants @polly_prissy

As always #FishnetFriday pay homage to @alexanderdowner former Foreign Minister and patron saint of #FishnetStockings

06:14 AM - 30 Jan 2015

No matter if you're one of the country's longest serving foreign ministers, you pose for ONE PHOTO in leopard print heels and fishnets for a charity event and suddenly that's all anyone remembers you for. Politics is cruel isn't it, Alexander Downer?

But don't feel too bad for him. Speaking at a NSW Liberal event one night, he made an awful pun on the party's slogan "The Things That Matter", saying that their domestic violence policy should be "The Things That Batter", referring to the abusive husbands.

Oof.

6. The "titty-fucking" police minister

ABC News

Matt Brown was three days into the job as NSW police minister when he decided a good thing to do would be to get half naked, stand on a couch at a party and gyrate on a female MP.

Then, because that wasn't enough, witnesses say he turned to her adult daughter who was also in the room and said "Look at this, I'm titty fucking your mother!"

After admitting to the act, he was promptly sacked because, of course.

7. The Family First member exposed

dnamagazine.com.au

In 2007 Andrew Quah was a rising star in conservative party Family First, and a candidate for western Sydney, when pictures of him exposing himself appeared on websites like Gaydar.

He also admitted to looking at porn websites, something that Family First fights against, and he was soon dumped. In an interview with Fairfax, Quah said it was possible that he posed for the photos but insisted that the dick pic was doctored.

"That's not my penis," he said, suggesting that it could have been photoshopped.

8. The politician who died doing what he loved

Twitter

Former Liberal leader Sir Billy Snedden died doing what he loved - banging his son's ex girlfriend.

First thought to be a suspicious death, police searched for the mysterious "deathbed girl". But it turned out that Sir Billy head a heart attack while spending the night with a secretary who used to date his son, Drew.

Years later, his son had this to say about the heart-stopping affair to the Herald Sun:

"It was an adrenalin-filled evening. I'm sure the old man went out happy - anyone would be proud to die on the job," he said.

Turns out it's a bit of a trend. Former PM Ben Chifley reportedly died from a heart attack in 1951 "in the company" of his secretary.

A broken table doesn't sound too bad now does it?