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21 Things That Will Definitely Happen Before "The Winds Of Winter" Release

Winter is for sure not coming.

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1. Leonardo di Caprio will win his second Academy Award.

Lucas Jackson / Reuters

2. Pharrell will start visibly aging.

Casey Curry/Invision / AP

3. The entire Carter family will triple-headline Super Bowl LXIX.

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4. Natalie Dormer will take over for Diana Rigg in the role of Olenna Tyrell, in Game of Thrones' sixtieth consecutive filler season.

Mario Anzuoni/Reuters
Ray Tamarra/GC Images

5. California will do what it's been planning all along and just snap off to float around the Pacific Ocean forever.

6. Macaroni and cheese will cease to be delicious, somehow.

Getty Images/iStockphoto rez-art

7. McDonalds and Burger King will actually merge to become KING MCDONALD, your sentient burger overlord.

Getty Images/iStockphoto draghicich

8. You'll actually stop thinking about that embarrassing thing you did in the seventh grade.

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9. Kidz Bop 4,567 will come out on holodisk and include the hit tracks "Remember Earth?" and "We Live On The Moon Now."

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10. Firefly will come back on air, and we find out that Wash wasn't dead, just sleeping.

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11. Pigs will surpass us technologically and domesticate humanity, thus changing the phrase to "when people fly."

Getty Images/iStockphoto ChrisGorgio

12. Ragnarok, the apocalypse of the Norse Gods.

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*Not actually the Thor movie, that's coming out in 2017. Way too early.

13. Supernatural will be abandoned by its fandom.

14. You, yes YOU, will disappear from the realm of human memory as your children's' children's' children forget your full name.

Getty Images/iStockphoto Kotenko_A

15. Global nuclear extinction.

Getty Images/iStockphoto Alessio Bogani

16. Your crush will ask you out.

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17. Harper Lee will release a sequel to To Kill a Mockingbird.

Wait. WHAT?
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Wait. WHAT?

18. "Fetch" will happen.

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19. Kim Kardashian will delete her Instagram account and renounce all selfies forever.

20. A Harry Potter reboot will come out where the only difference is Dumbledore -calmly- asks Harry if he put his name in the Goblet of Fire.

Warner Bros. Pictures / Via

21. "When the sun rises in the west and sets in the east. When the seas go dry and mountains blow in the wind like leaves. When [Daenerys'] womb quickens again and she bears another child." That is when The Winds of Winter will be released.

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