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21 Reasons City Apartment Hunting Tests The Limits Of Your Humanity

Gimme shelter. Or else.

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1. So many of the listings online are fake, you forget what it feels like to trust.

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2. You're initially horrified at how terrible listing pictures are.

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3. And your horror compounds when you realize that it's because the apartment is too small to actually take a picture of.

4. You've come across sketchy listings that are absolutely, 100% murder traps. No doubt in your mind.

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5. Your conception of language morphs to understand listing-speak.

6. When you tell people you're apartment hunting they very obviously pity you.

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7. You have seen apartments and wondered how any human being could conceivably live in that layout.

The toilet. is in. the kitchen.

8. If you ever make the mistake of "just looking" at an apartment out of your price range, your self-esteem will plummet.

Sam Brown / Via kidfromthe6ix.com

...and i'll never be with you.

9. You find it physically painful to look at Pinterest and other homey sites because you can't have those nice things (yet, maybe ever).

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10. You've been let down by so many super promising listings that turned out to be actual hellholes.

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11. You try to prepare all of your applications documents ahead of time but there's always ONE dumb thing you're missing.

Why does the landlord need my long form birth certificate?
Getty Images David Sacks

Why does the landlord need my long form birth certificate?

12. Trekking up all of those walk-ups while you're hunting makes you realize how out of shape you are.

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(The move-in will be worse. Have fun!)

13. You lose your ability to hide the disappointment on your face when you come up empty-handed after another day of searching.

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14. Your assumption that all you need up front is a month's rent and month' security will not hold up to reality.

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15. Older people will tell you everything you're doing wrong with your search, not realizing that the market has changed A LOT since they were renters.

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"Back in my day I showed up to the open house with eight nickels and a business card. Moved in that night."

16. You stop being able to talk about anything besides your apartment hunt.

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17. To the point where your friends don't even want to talk to you until you find a place to live.

"STOP TALKING."
Getty Images/iStockphoto VladimirFLoyd

"STOP TALKING."

18. You fall behind on your job because looking at a few listings on your lunch break turns into a two-hour panicfest.

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19. You know that getting a broker would make everything so much easier, but will also cost approximately all the money.

20. You are so good at searching on craigslist now. So good. It's so sad.

Alexis Nedd / Via newyork.craigslist.org

21. And when you do finally find your apartment, all of this stress is lifted for the briefest of moments...until you realize that now you have to furnish it.

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