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23 WTF Thoughts You Had While Watching: "Gotham"

Season 1 Finale: "All Happy Families Are Alike"

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•Fish arrives back in Gotham on the prow of a boat, both channeling and absolutely destroying George Washington crossing the Delaware.

•Also bless Fish for taking time to shave her head, get subdermal implants, have her nails done, dye her fringe, and cobble together a brand new wardrobe before coming back to destroy Gotham, brick by brick. "Why," you ask? Aesthetic.

•Bruce Wayne has been indoors the whole time. Every twelve hours he changes into a different Ralph Lauren sweater and makes Alfred swap his part from the right to left side of his head but besides that he essentially hasn't moved.

•"Why did my dad lock the door?" Bruce asks Alfred. Gee I don't know kid, maybe to keep a small, supernaturally nosy child out of his way while he was running a multi-billion dollar enterprise?

•Falcone's car gets bombed and he dives to SAVE THE CHICKEN. CARMINE! PRIORITIES.

•There's a gang war going on, a psychotic forensic assistant in the next room, and an undead murder god stalking the streets (probably) and STILL the scariest thing in Gotham in Barbara Kean's marble-eyed stare. She's the haunted doll of people.

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•So I get that Falcone has fallen out of favor with the Board of Crime or whoever decides this mess, but the least they can do is put him in an actual hospital bed. Man's old. Let him die in style.

•Penguin needs to study at the Ultron School of Villainy, because the whole "explaining your evil plan before you enact it" thing has never ended well for anyone, ever.

•He did however totally ace the "convincing Jim Gordon to spare your life for the second time this season because he's a sappy sap man" course they offer as an elective.

•Bruce is tearing that study apart like only a rich kid could, knowing full well that it won't be his job to put that study back the way it was when he's done.

•RAMBO JIM IS MY FAVORITE JIM!!!

•"Nobody knows about this place," says Falcone about a warehouse in a well-lit part of Gotham that is in no way isolated from other buildings.

•When did Selina becomes so heartless? Oh wait, probably wheh she murdered a heroin addict. Kids these days.

•"What did you do to that poor soul, you sadist," says Fish. And Penguin is like "look bro if you want to go knock on Victor's door and find out what's going on in his basement be my goddamn guest but this one's not on me"

•Harvey will be spared by the power vested in his trousers. Consistent.

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•God bless Selina and her precious little kitty nuzzle to Fish. Meow!

•Yoooooo Fish shooting Maroni for being a raging misogynist asshat is a beautiful, beautiful piece of poetic justice. GET HIM. YAAASSSSS. DON'T CALL HER BABES.

•"Barbara we've been circling around the subject," says Lee, and also the fans of Gotham regarding the consistent allusion to and threat of sexual violence on this show, exclusively directed towards its women characters to create dramatic tension in a world where nonsexualized violence gets the point across just fine. Sorry, was that out loud?

•It was Shakespeare or perhaps Hakeem Lyon who one said, sagely, "fellas if ya clever, trust a lady never." CATFIGHT FOR YOUR LIFE!

•Round of applause for Drew Powell in this episode, who finally gets to shine up there on the roof as Butch goes through some deep struggles. What a character. Butchie boy.

•Also like Penguin you just got shot so maybe don't um, walk on any roof ledges like that? You've already got a bum leg, friendo. Don't tempt fate.

•The greatest trick the devil ever pulled was making Cory Michael Smith weird and unappealing. Yeeeesh. Welcome to the gallery, Riddler!

•BATCAVE BATCAVE BATVACE BATCAVE BATCAVE WOOOOOOOOOOO!