21 Magical Moments That Only Happen When You're Beyoncé

    As imagined by @BEYONCEFANFIC.

    1. You get surprised when making a snack.

    Beyoncé cuts open an avocado and finds a diamond inside. Unfazed, she scoops it into the garbage and finishes her snack.

    2. You casually push the limits of human perception.

    Beyoncé can't find a single pair of heels to match her new Marni clutch, so she extends the color spectrum to create an 8th color.

    3. You transmogrify matter.

    Beyoncé pops a green apple Jolly Rancher into her mouth. After sucking on the candy for a few minutes, she spits out a glistening emerald.

    4. You prepare for the next generation.

    Beyoncé brushes her daughter's hair before bed and finds small golden nuggets in her scalp. "She got my genes after all," Beyoncé chuckles.

    5. You make it someone else's problem.

    Beyoncé doesn't have time for a post-birthday hangover today. She closes her eyes and teleports her headache into Michelle Williams.

    6. You act as a power source.

    Beyoncé's car won't start. She flips the hood of her Jaguar and autographs the car's battery. Her name's power brings the car back to life.

    7. You control the weather.

    Beyoncé writes a $500k check to the sky and in return, the sky directs the rain away from her newly-washed Rolls Royce.

    8. You get to decide these things.

    Beyoncé drives out into the upstate New York woods to pick out which trees will be chopped down and turned into her money.

    9. You perform sneaky miracles.

    Beyoncé overhears a conversation about God's gender. She smirks and takes a sip of Perrier. It transforms into wine upon grazing her lips.

    10. You refuse to be late.

    Beyoncé can't find parking and has dinner reservations in 5 minutes. Her stress compels her to abandon yet another Porsche in the street.

    11. You frighten the elements.

    Beyoncé tries to film an ice bucket challenge video, but the chilled water is afraid of causing her discomfort and won't leave its bucket.

    12. You cope with what you're given.

    Unable to find a bedding suitable for her daughter, Beyoncé resorts to shredding a few bundles of $100 bills. Blue will have to make due.

    13. Your hair has the power of life and death.

    Beyoncé picks a flower from the courtyard and braids it into her hair. Every other flower in the field immediately shrivels up and dies.

    14. You throw shade at Gwyneth Paltrow.

    Beyoncé tries on a dress at Saint Laurent and texts a selfie to Gwyneth Paltrow, who responds with a thumbs down emoji. Beyoncé buys it.

    15. You use a compact mirror.

    Beyoncé fishes a solid gold bar out of her Birkin, polishes the surface against her sleeve, and checks the reflection for food in her teeth.

    16. You make it someone else's problem...again.

    Beyoncé notices a pimple on her forehead. She focuses her energy and teleports it away. Later, Michelle Williams finds a pimple on her nose.

    17. Your tea listens.

    Beyoncé sits outside in her gazebo, staring at the teabag floating in her mug and willing her beverage to cool faster. The tea listens.

    18. Your hair is an internationally accepted form of currency.

    Beyoncé sneaks away from Brandy with the help of an Herve Leger sales associate, exchanging a lock of her weave for confidentiality.

    19. Your husband doesn't know what to do.

    Jay-Z calls Beyoncé on the hologram phone. "How much edible gold do you put in the eel casserole?" She laughs at his culinary incompetence.

    20. You take care of your child in the only way you know how.

    Beyoncé frowns upon observing her daughter's absence. Channeling her psychic energy, she teleports Blue Ivy back into her stroller.

    21. And sometimes you're just like everybody else.

    Beyoncé feels a wave of nostalgia and tried to log back in to her old Neopets account, but can't remember her password.