I have been sitting at my desk for the past few hours, mindlessly browsing the internet in the hopes of entertaining myself.
But I have also, in this time, developed a theory. Mind you, a beer-fuelled theory, but nevertheless, a theory.
I have reason to believe that, the Kraken, yes, you heard that right, the Kraken, the all-mighty, mythical creature, is actually one of the Kardashians.
Hear me out:
1. Its name starts with the letter K
This one is pretty self-explanatory. Kraken. Kraken Kardashian.
It fits the pattern.
2. It has a big pop culture presence
From the 13th century up until present day, the Kraken has featured heavily in pop culture.
For a mythical creature, the giant squid gets a lot of attention. You could say everybody's been keeping up with it (wink, wink). It's been featured in poems, novels, TV shows, video games, movies, even got a few brand deals (Kraken Rum).
3. They both have Eurasian roots
The Kardashians come from Armenia, the Kraken comes from Norwegian folklore, which is close enough.
4. Some legends suggest that there's more than on Kraken
Need I say more?! There's quite a few Kardashians kicking about...
5. Some of the best minds in history have tried to disprove the myth
In 1848, the ship Daedalus came across a sea monster that the sailors thought to be at least 60 feet long. Sir Richard Owen, the guy who came up with the word 'dinosaur', so a pretty big deal, argued that what they in fact saw was a seal. The sailors disagreed, what they saw was not a seal, they knew what seal looked like. Others had made similar claims before the 1848 incident, which Owen dismissed - until 1873 when a fisherman caught a giant squid.
Much like the Kraken, many have tried to dismiss the Kardashians and wish they didn't exist. But they don't seem to be going anywhere any time soon!
6. You know it's coming when you see fish rise to the surface
Ok, in the case of the Kardashians, it's more like $75,000 diamond earrings, but the similarities are there.
So there you have it!
Undeniable proof that the Kraken is a long-lost Kardashian sister.