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    21 Questions You Should Definitely Never Ask A Londonder

    Can you move down the carriage please?

    1. Can you meet me outside Oxford Circus station? I don't know London that well.

    Matthew Lloyd / Getty / Alex Finnis / BuzzFeed

    How about I just meet you in hell?

    2. Are you sure it’s healthy to be going to the pub five nights a week?

    Thinkstock / Alex Finnis / BuzzFeed

    I'm sure it isn't, but do I look like I care?

    3. Would you like to come to my party in Epping on Saturday night?

    TfL / Alex Finnis / BuzzFeed

    I mean, I could come, but you know what I could also do? Not.

    4. You look miserable, why aren’t you smiling?

    Thinkstock / Alex Finnis / BuzzFeed

    Probably because you're talking to me.

    5. I fancy a fun day out, shall we go to M&M’s World? / Alex Finnis / BuzzFeed

    I've got another suggestion, how about instead, I just murder you.

    6. What’s Chicken Cottage?

    N Chadwick / Alex Finnis / BuzzFeed / Via

    Are you serious right now?

    7. What’s the point in all these big parks, can’t they just build shops there instead?

    8. So when are you planning to buy a place of your own? / Alex Finnis / BuzzFeed

    Just don't even start.

    9. Why don’t you just commute from zone 6 to save money on rent?

    TfL / Alex Finnis / BuzzFeed

    I quite like spending my life not on trains thanks.

    10. Actually, why don’t you just move up North?

    Thinkstock / Alex Finnis / BuzzFeed

    You mean, apart from the fact that my job and all my friends are here?

    11. Can you move down the carriage please?

    Oli Scarff / Getty / Alex Finnis / BuzzFeed

    If I could move at all that would be nice.

    12. It’s fine if I just play this music through my phone speakers on the bus, right?

    Sure, but I'll be putting this question on your tombstone.

    13. I’d love to go on a date with you – how does Angus Steakhouse sound? / Alex Finnis / BuzzFeed

    Like you're probably going to be eating alone.

    14. Shall we take the cable car? What a cool and fun idea that was.

    Matthew Lloyd / Getty / Alex Finnis / BuzzFeed

    How about you take the cable car, and I stand at the other side and cut the cables?

    15. If pubs are so expensive here, why don’t you just drink at home?

    Stockbyte / Getty Images / Alex Finnis / BuzzFeed

    Because then I will be drinking alone and will have to face up to my alcohol problem.

    16. Dogs on the tube? Isn’t that kind of unhygienic?

    Leon Neal / Getty Images

    Says the person sneezing then putting their hand back on the rail ಠ_ಠ.

    17. I need to grab a couple of bits, can you come with me to Westfield? / Alex Finnis / BuzzFeed

    Of course I'll come with you, I love making myself deeply unhappy.

    18. What colour line are we taking?

    Robin Edds / BuzzFeed / TfL

    Don't make me answer this in public.

    19. Can we go to that cereal cafe?

    Matthew Tucker / BuzzFeed


    20. If you fancy that person on the tube so much why don’t you just ask them out?

    Daniel Berehulak / Getty / Alex Finnis / BuzzFeed

    Because that is creepy and also have you seen me?

    21. How are you?

    Dan Kitwood / Getty / Alex Finnis / BuzzFeed

    Fuck off.

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