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1. Your face becomes your ID.
2. People start buying you beard-related gifts.
3. You never need to think of another awkward icebreaker.
4. People will want to touch your face.
5. You battle the dreaded "itchy phase."
6. No matter what color your hair is, it will go ginger.
7. You become more intelligent.
8. You discover your "beard idol."
9. You forget what your actual face looks like.
10. You develop a strong affinity with nature.
11. You realize that if you shave, you will look at least three years younger than you did before you grew your beard.
12. Smugness.
13. You get an irresistible urge to stick things in it.
14. People get jealous.
15. Need a snack? No problem.
16. You imagine how you might look with just the mustache.
17. You become a wizard.
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