10.
me: "i haven't spoken to this person in a long time, let me text them!" they: don't respond me: "okay i'll just go fuck myself i guess"
9.
me after eating two cookies before going to the gym: "health is my passion"
8.
ME: helen you have to help me diffuse this bomb! HELEN KELLER: shaksmckdnanx ansndnskabd ME: HELEN KELLER: ME: oh right
Slightly distasteful and under appreciated.
7.
i feel bad for the guys who are named harry, louis, liam, niall and zayn and they aren't the important ones
6.
remember when i was ugly in middle school. now i'm ugly in college.
5.
me: wonders why no one wants to date me also me: dresses like a homeless woman and displays zero emotion or affection towards anyone
4.
i've been driving with my gas light on for the past three days, so you can say that i like living my life on the edge
3.
if the sorting hat had the nerve to sort me into a house named pukwudgie then that headmaster is going to catch these hands
2.
if you guys feel bad about your AP exams, remember last year i wrote a story about a princess who couldnt sing instead of answering the FRQs
1.
i might have physically survived the first five months of 2016 but im dying on the inside
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