Have you ever wondered how Cleopatra kept all the cats and the pharaohs coming to the yard? (Fine, palace.) Well, Ladylike tried some ancient makeup rituals so you don't have to:
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Because, honestly, you shouldn't have to.
Kristin was quick to point out that it didn't seem like makeup came in many different shades back in the day...which made Freddie realize she might be shit outta luck for this experiment:

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First up, the ladies tried milk-and-honey face masks. Saf pointed out that Cleopatra was known for bathing in milk and honey, so Jen decided it was a good time to get a rumor started that ol' Cleo was also famous for YEAST INFECTIONS.

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Thank god for our research team!
The general conclusion: "Yeah...no thanks."

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Next up, they learned that Greek and Roman women put lead cream on their faces to lighten their complexions. Since that’s all kinds of fucked up, we gave them chalk to use instead...Freddie pointed out it was still very messed up, though:
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I think Saf summed the experience up very well:
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Then, the ladies got to try some crushed "blackberry blush" to emulate the Grecian women who used mulberries on their faces. Let's call this one "Jen lets out her frustrations."

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Saf pointed out that there were some practicality issues, but overall, the women felt that this one at least looked like blush.

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And the final touch, you ask? They got to use actual kohl to line their eyes and brows, and it was a TREAT:
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But let us all take a moment to appreciate how well Freddie can pull off smushed blackberries on her face:

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FREAKING. GORGEOUS.

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Kristin also came in clutch with the metaphors and explained the whole "ancient beauty" experience perfectly:

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Amen, sister-friend.