back to top

21 Times Larry David Spoke For Everyone Who Hates People

Anti-social frozen yogurt lovers, unite.

Posted on

1. When he admitted his goal was to keep interactions at social functions to a minimum:


This is a "no hug, no kiss, no shaking hands" zone.

2. When he described being single and ready to (avoid any opportunity to) mingle:


Who needs people when you've got food and television?

3. When he couldn't be bothered to pretend to care:


Wow, a game. So what?

4. Every time he was so wrapped up in himself that he absolutely ruined everything for everyone else:


By accident. This time.

5. When he spoke his truth, no matter what others thought of it:


He enjoys the finer things in life, just like you do.

6. When he fought the good fight against bad conversation:


Has anyone ever really cared that much about the weather?

7. Every single time he was the only person who was always right:

Actuallyyyyyy, the customer is NOT always right. You see?

Actuallyyyyyy, the customer is NOT always right. You see?

8. When he was blunt about the qualities he looks for in others, even if it wasn't ~polite~:


Who doesn't like breasts, y'know?

9. When he Netflix and chilled with the one he truly loved:


(Junk food.)

10. Whenever he was "Really" "Sorry" about his behavior towards others:


🎶 Is it too late now to say "who cares"?

11. Every time he bravely stood up for his fellow non-people-persons:


Look, if no one else is going to scream about things like chronic and unabashed ice cream sample abusers, he's gotta.

12. Every time he was just saying what we were all thinking:


Humans are basically leaky bags of meat. Who needs 'em?

13. When he basically just straight-up announced that he's just not a people person:

Sony Pictures Classics

Points for honesty, though.

14. When he acted like he didn't give a flying fuck about what other people thought:


Live your best life, boo.

15. When he knew life would be a helluva lot better if he was the only one living it:

Sony Pictures Classics

People are sort of OK in small doses and from afar, though. Also, on mute.

16. When he shared that nothing beats the absolute thrill of canceling plans:

Better than sex.

17. When he knew that the appropriate response to seeing someone you know is ignoring them:


Keep your eyes on the ground and continue walking at a brisk pace. Because if you don't stop the first place, you won't have to do the dreaded "stop and chat."

18. When he admitted to not understanding what the hell other people are doing most of the time:


Like, you know what your damn face looks like. Why do you need to have us look at it from the same angle using 157 different filters?

19. When he knew that the best kind of friends are those you never have to see nor speak to:


One is silver, and the other shhhh.

20. Every time he made his thoughts known, even when no one else was on his side:


Really not the best idea to pull out an invisible, sarcastic violin at a social function.

21. And when he was perfectly happy just being himself. Alone:


Alone time is the best time. Gettin' a bunch-up just thinking about it.

The best things at three price points