Every couple splits their bills differently — mostly because people view their finances differently. Some see a "fair" split as 50/50, while others opt for a ratio that accounts for how much each partner in the relationship individually makes. And beyond that, not all partners share the same spending habits, goals, or retirement considerations.
So, curious about real-world examples, we asked couples in the BuzzFeed Community to share how they split bills and responsibilities with their partner. Here's what they said:
1. "We have our own separate personal accounts and then a joint account that we pay all the bills, eating out, etc. out of. It works beautifully because we can each spend what we want on our hobbies, and we can buy presents for each other without the other knowing what we bought."
"Before I got married, every single older woman I told (relatives and coworkers) sat me down and told me to 'always have a backup plan' or 'always have a separate personal account he can never access.' I never anticipate having to use my money as GTFO money, but I do like being able to buy whatever I want without feeling guilty about using 'our' money for another craft project."
2. "My husband and I combine our money in a bank account, and from there, it’s considered 'our' money. It doesn’t matter how much we each bring in. We’re married and have a family together. I know everyone has to do what works best for them, but I can’t wrap my mind around married couples splitting bills."
3. "I never understood this 'you’re married but have separate bank accounts' thing. My husband and I met when I was 17 and he was 20. We moved in together after I graduated high school. We lived together for eight years, always contributed to one joint account."
"We will be together a total of 32 years as of tomorrow. Never mattered who made more money; we both contributed, and I paid the bills. It’s called LOVE and TRUST. Maybe more people need to learn it!"
4. "Although my partner technically earns more than me (for now!), he has uni debt that means he pays a buttload of tax, so he ends up bringing home less. He pays the mortgage, and I pay the bills and council rates. I also pay for our dog's extravagant lifestyle, including grooming, vet bills, food, etc."
"Once my car loan and his student loans are paid off, we'll split it 50/50. We both have separate accounts and savings, no arguments about money here! If one of us is short, we help each other out with no expectation to pay it back."
5. "I haven't worked in a year now... It was supposed to be temporary, but I fell pregnant, and we wanted to keep it. My partner loves working so we came to the decision he'd be a full-time worker, and I'd try to find a part-time job for the next four to five months, but no luck! So he earns a lot more, and I got on government assistance to at least contribute. We share every penny we get."
"He doesn't care; it's mostly his money. But we made the agreement that I do EVERYTHING at home and will be a stay-at-home mum for a while. But I said when I'm ready and not breastfeeding as much or at all that we can swap roles and he can be a stay-at-home dad for a bit. He's happy with that, so I am, too. We're spending money quicker than we get it at the moment preparing for our new addition in October. But it will be worth it. Just trying to stay organized and prepare a budget."
—Nic
6. "I'm a life-long single person, but my mom and dad had it all figured out. They both worked. Mom as a waitress/bartender and Dad as a warehouse supervisor. When Dad's check came in the mail, he endorsed it, gave it to Mom, and she deposited it into a bank account that just had HER name on it. She paid all the bills from that account, including Catholic school tuition for us four kids."
7. "Joint account since day one. My wife had a child when we met, and I floated the idea of a joint account for household bills, but keeping the rest of our money separate because I felt certain expenses shouldn't fall on me. A buddy of mine said this to me: You'll regret separating money. You knew you were taking a package deal, and you're a family now. I immediately realized her debts, my debts, the difference in salaries, and extra costs for a child that wasn't mine didn't matter. We were all one team now."
"Some bills are in my name, some in my wife's. No rhyme or reason to that, just whoever started that service put it in their name. I guess I never understood retaining more 'value' than your partner, but if it works, go for it. You'd think it would cause resentment when one side can have all kinds of things the other cannot."
8. "My fiancé and I are in a bit of a strange situation. He isn’t American, so in order for us to be together, he had to get a US visa, and now, we're waiting for his work permit to process. So essentially, he will have no income, and I will pay 100 percent of the bills."
"He also hasn’t gotten started working toward his career and will likely need to intern or take low-paying jobs for a couple years to get to where he’d like to be. That’s OK. Right now, he does all the housework, and we discuss that eventually, I will cut back some of my hours, but for now, it’s fine. I make the budget and essentially take any money that isn’t fixed, and I let him keep track of or make decisions with it. He has access to my credit cards; I can PayPal him when needed. It’s not the traditional way, but it works for us. What’s most important is that we get to be together."
9. "He works for himself and maybe technically makes more than I do, but the house is in my name, so I pay the mortgage, and he pays the trash, electric, and groceries when I ask for help. Our money is separate, but I manage his finances, and when we go out, he tends to pay."
"I think we both like our independence, but as I’m involved in every aspect of his money (co-signer on accounts), we definitely have trust. He doesn’t really care to know what I spend my money on but knows I’m financially stable. I wish he took a more active role in his own finances in case anything happens to me, but I’m happy to manage everything for now."
10. "We have separate accounts. He makes WAY more than me, he pays ALL the bills, and I save every penny I get. I learned early on he cannot save money — if he has it, he will spend it."
11. "He makes more than I do, but we still split 50/50, including working two different shifts so we don't need childcare. I handle all the bills, he gives me cash for his half. The bills include shared bills, rent, electric, gas, groceries, cable. We pay our own car insurance and credit card bills. When we take vacations, it's also 50/50."
12. "My girlfriend hasn't worked in over 20 years, so she doesn't make any income. The accounts are all in my name (they pre-date her), and she has a second card on my Visa account. The house and all the investments are in my name, except for the one tax-free investment account I set up in her name because of the tax benefits. This may not work for everyone, but it works for us."
13. "My spouse and I have a 'joint account' where the vast majority of our money goes to bills, mortgage, etc. The bit we keep is our 'fun money.' When the salaries were really unequal, it was on the higher earner to pay for more of the 'fun' when we were out."
14. "My hubby is a work from home software architect and makes excellent money. I am a part-time teacher, so you can imagine the amount I earn. However, I'm basically working for pocket money that only I have access to. He pays for everything and also has his own separate account. I contribute by doing the household tasks."
"If something comes up and I need extra, I have access to the savings account that he adds to monthly, and I pay back when I can. This arrangement works for us, and we have quite a bit saved up if there is ever an emergency. I realize that I am very fortunate, and I do not take it for granted."
15. "My boyfriend makes a bit more than me, but not much (it's 55/45). So we split rent and all shared expenses according to that percentage, and at the beginning of the month, we each deposit a specific amount into a joint bank account. If we need to deposit extra money because the account is about to be overdrawn, we each deposit the same amount (like €100 each for example). The rest of our money goes to our individual accounts, and each of us can spend that money however we like as long as all the household stuff gets paid."
"That way I can get my nails done or get a new dress without asking his opinion, and he can get an IT gadget without asking for mine. (I know the examples seem a bit stereotypical, but it's what happens usually). Works for us."
16. And finally: "I had a daughter from a previous relationship that I had sole custody of. Her dad isn't involved at all so I was responsible for paying everything 100%. I then met my now partner and was still working up until a couple months before I had our baby girl. He pays for 95% of everything because he makes $115,000 a year. I am currently on maternity leave."
"This is the first time since I was a teenager that I haven’t had to worry about money. Sometimes, I feel bad, but he knows going back to work for me will be hard. He works away from home and is only home four days a month. I manage the house, both kids, and our dog. I do 99% of the childcare, dog care, and cleaning/maintaining the house. That’s what makes me feel better about not contributing financially because I do literally everything else."