Deciding whether or not you want kids is a personal decision, and everyone has their reasoning for or against it. Regardless, I think we should all agree that parents who do choose to have children should not expect child-free people to be responsible for them. Or... at least I thought we could agree on that.
In a recent bid for advice on the Two Hot Takes subreddit, Reddit user u/babysitter-payment – whom we'll call BP – questioned whether they were wrong for refusing to chip in for their friends' childcare.
Here's the dilemma in BP's own words: "I've had the same group of girlfriends since high school, there are five of us. Each have a kid, well, except me. We do dinner about once a month and recently the group hired a babysitter to watch the kids while we go to dinner. It's four kids, so it's $100 for two to three hours."
"At dinner, we take turns paying. Everyone generally orders about the same amount of stuff, one alcoholic drink, and we split 2 bottles of sparkling water for the table along with our entrees. It's never really been a thing, until recently."
"After dinner, the person responsible for the week pays, and then I assume they all head back to the house the babysitter is at to pick up the kids (I just go home). This week, it was my turn to pay, the first time since they hired the babysitter. I paid for dinner as normal, and hugged everyone goodbye. When I got home, I had a flurry of texts from the group, saying that I owed $100. I asked what they were talking about because I had paid for dinner," BP explained.
"They said because it was my week to pay, I was also expected to pay for the babysitter 'because all of us get the pleasure of being out without kids.' I said, I don't have kids. Why would I pay for your babysitter? They said, you get the pleasure of hanging out with us and it's the only way we can do it kid-free."
"I'm sticking to my guns and not paying but my friends think I am being unfair for not being willing to 'pay my share' of the babysitting. What share? I have no kids to babysit!"
"This is causing a rift, but I don't think I'm the jerk! But maybe I am? This wouldn't be a financial imposition on me, but it sure seems unfair. Am I the asshole for refusing to kick in for babysitting when I don't have any kids being babysat?"
In a stunning moment of unity, parents and child-free people alike came together to declare BP is most definitely not the asshole. User Ali_Cat222 reacted like most, saying, "I'm sorry but what?! I have a child but even so, why the hell would I make that someone else's problem?"
"If I choose to go out and I choose to hire a babysitter, then that's my responsibility. What a weird situation. It sounds like these people are mad at BP for having the freedom to go out sans-children."
"Not the asshole," Ancient-Character556 agreed. "You don’t even have a kid, why should you pay for their babysitter?
"This should have been something discussed beforehand, it’s rude and entitled for them to think you would want to pitch in for THEIR babysitters. On the other hand, if it was something you agreed to then backed out last minute, you would be the asshole. There definitely should have been a conversation about that."
Some questioned why BP's friends were shaking them down for money over $100, which could be split between the four friends with children pretty affordably.
"Four people can't each pay $25 for the babysitter? Honestly, that's a pretty good rate for a night out. Fifty-two weeks divided by 5 is 10.4. If you were to pay the entire cost that would mean you are paying $100, 10 times a year. So you are paying $1000/year for the pleasure of their company. You could take a decent vacation for $1000."
But the biggest question people had was: Where in the world are the fathers?
"You didn't impregnate them, so it's not your responsibility. What a ridiculous take," eepithst said.
"Do any of these children have fathers!???!," Princess-Reader added.
BuzzFeeders, I was also ready to get up in arms over the seemingly missing fathers, but BP was quick to clarify this point in the comments, saying:
"Everyone is asking where the dads are. Since they hired a babysitter, they do boys/girls nights on the same night to take maximum advantage of hiring a sitter."