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21 Struggles Of Having Two Different-Size Boobs

No boob is created equal, but sometimes that rule unfortunately applies to the pair on your own chest.

1. You are constantly trying to perk the smaller boob up a bit more.

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Especially devastating if you are flat-chested to begin with.

2. If you're unsuccessful, the larger boob takes over the world.

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It's like a sick game of Where's Waldo? that you didn't agree to play.

3. Your friends like to point out the obvious when it comes to your girls.

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Not cool, friends. Not cool.

4. If you catch someone staring for too long you get self-conscious.

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Even though you are probably the only person who can tell the true difference.

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5. You wish that you could buy a bra with extra push-up in just one side.

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Right boob needs just a bit (read: a lot) more lift.

6. One larger breast = one heavier breast = isolated shoulder pain.

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Um, ow.

7. Wearing tight clothes draws attention to the issue at hand.

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Yeah, like that.

8. And forget about printed tees. Too much tension on one side makes for a distorted result.

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9. Boob jiggle is not proportionate.

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Like in classic coming-of-age tales, one girl always matures faster than the other and draws so much more attention.

10. Which also makes loose tops kind of a mess.

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Can't win.

11. The smaller boob's bra cup becomes a crumb vessel due to extra space in the top.

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But then you find a snack later, so it's not all bad.

12. Wearing a tank top is basically a tug of war between your two boobs, and the larger boob is always going to win.

Why, hello there, bra that is supposed to be underneath my shirt.
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Why, hello there, bra that is supposed to be underneath my shirt.

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13. You get real salty when you mention your asymmetry to your friends and they don't feel the same pain.

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Screw you and your equally distributed boob fat.

14. You feel like the person you're dating is probably paying a huge amount of attention to your uneven goodies.

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Though they probably aren't, because let's be real, they just want to see boobs no matter what they look like.

15. Trying to make cleavage when flat-chested is hard enough as it is. Add in unevenness and it's a damn mess.

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It's like one boob just really wants to go on the rollercoaster but the other is too short to ride.

16. You have referred to Google at least once (OK, more than once) for tips on how to get one boob to grow.

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Can I massage one boob and get some growin' on?

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17. No matter how pretty you try to make your boobs look (in or out of a shirt), disappointment in their differences always prevails.

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So sad.

18. When you're getting naked with someone for the first time, your immediate reaction is to check on what the girls are doing.

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And then find the angle that you can solidly work for the rest of the night.

19. You have tried to sleep on one side of your body so that your tinier boob will stretch out overnight.

Even though you know deep down that it will never have the desired effect.
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Even though you know deep down that it will never have the desired effect.

20. You sometimes try to contour your boobs with makeup, with emphasis on the smaller goodie.

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Bronzer ends up getting all over the damn place and your boobs are still asymmetrical.

21. You worry about the inevitable sag of your boobs as you age and wonder if the larger one is going to look completely different.

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Like, what are we talkin' here? One at the belly button, one at the waistline?

But though they may be uneven, they are YOURS.

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High-five to all the asymmetrical ladies out derr. ✋

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