1. This relatable feeling:
i deserved sex today but whatever
2. When you have THAT kind of throwback:
SEX flashbacks be hitting you like the visions in thats so raven 😩😭 whew chileee
3. When you just want to make sure things are up-to-date:
I love making sex playlists for the sex that I’m not having!
4. This funny reaction:
i’ve gotta stop telling people they were in my dreams bc they always think it’s a sex thing when in reality they were like, my cashier at petsmart or something
5. A ridiculous preference:
My roomie and I were talking about fictional characters we’d bone and I said Christian Bale in American Psycho and this bitch dead ass said Johnny Depp as WILLIE WONKA. I’m moving out
6. A MOOD:
i wish i have coworkers my age. like i’m trying so hard to relate to this girl’s daughter having an ear infection but i just want to talk about my hoe weekend https://t.co/cSPGSr6fEX
7. Some good advice:
dick ain’t worth it if it disrupts your peace. get better dick, positive dick, loving dick, a dick that’ll cherish ONLY you sis
8. This ritual:
-post Instagram story -check back in a few hours to make sure people you’ve had sex with viewed it first -continue on with your bad self
9. This preference:
"Cum" is such an ugly word. I prefer Créme de la Penis.
10. A pretty logical assumption:
do you *really* want a significant other or do you just need a therapist and some sex
11. This response:
“we all can see when u like porn twee-“
12. This ridiculous mess:
i’m so upset by this
13. And some not-so-far-off behavior:
Me heading to a dick appointment right after tweeting about how men are trash https://t.co/LqPEiIqqxu
14. This sad truth:
day 238 without sex: https://t.co/ryXJIYEBOT
15. This interpretation:
Girl, that's a bootyhole. https://t.co/A348dkKDmq
16. This coincidence:
This is the best one yet. https://t.co/34hcOnXaN1
17. A bold statement:
I’m going to fuck Trader Joe
18. A top-notch citizen:
last night i helped someone register to vote before we had sex and that’s my civic duty of the day
19. A romantic gesture:
my man is literally always randomly surprising me with things so I decided to make him a lil spoOooOky basket. hope he likes it! 😂🤷🏼♀️🖤 https://t.co/wva8tHWg2F
20. And finally, this fun surprise:
so... what do i win?
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