1.
my roommate's 6'1" bf said he was scared to go to six flags bc he's scared of heights...like bro?? you are a height tf
2.
Your MCM say “damn that’s crazy” when you're sad https://t.co/JKJvsAi5Rl
3.
Each day I wake up at 6am and - Send every man in my phone a text that says "what's up dog -- we good?" - Send every woman in my phone a text that says "So apparently you think I'm an idiot..." Then I go to the gym for twelve hours
4.
No one: Dairy Queen employees:
5.
my little brother just sent me this to tell me how dumb i look making boomerangs on instagram and i —
6.
it’s true i am a guy https://t.co/7hsG0TEm8i
7.
look at those little legs gooooo
8.
Man hit them with the reverse uno card https://t.co/2Zrii6WoKK
9.
Meanwhile at the McDonald's drive thru (she left her mic on)🤣🤣💀
10.
This how my coworker left us 😭
11.
So I went to a model home showing showing today and they placed pictures of @chrissyteigen and her family in the master bedroom and honestly if I had the money I’d buy it on the spot because of that
12.
Connecting flight in ATL airport https://t.co/2cIPO8WhIb
13.
Twitter: “She doesn’t deserve 2 years for licking Ice Cream...” Blue Bell:
14.
millennial culture is texting your mom “what TIME was i born?”
15.
It’s National Tequila Day so I guess I’ll drink....Tequila, and white claws.
16.
From now on I’m telling jobs I was the general manager at Toys R Us. Who tf they gon call
17.
i don’t care when Instagram is down but when Twitter is down...
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