1. First, play this.
All the time. Always. Do not stop.
2. Utilize this ingenious method of raspberry consumption.
4. Invest in a giant red patterned umbrella.
9. But when it does get too passionate, a milk steamer will block out any noise.
11. DAT HAIR.
Not for the faint of heart or curly of follicle, but amazing nonetheless.
12. And while a well-tied headscarf might not be the most incognito disguise ever, it has a definite allure.
13. Learn to chug.
Only white wine, though.
14. Or not.
17. LIFEHACK: Artichokes make ideal caviar-concealing devices.
19. Low, chunky black shoes are ideal for running all over Paris leaving clues for the object of your affection.
21. But be sure to listen to the people who know you best.
- Monday night's first presidential debate between Donald Trump and Hillary Clinton was a horse show for undecided voters.
- The former Miss Universe pageant winner who Donald Trump called fat says he treated her "like trash." Now, she's fighting back.
- Ready to die on Mars? Cool, because Elon Musk needs candidates for SpaceX missions 😳 🚀