1. You're surrounded by kids who dress better than you.
2. And kids who work out more than you do.
3. And kids who eat better than you do.
4. You can't walk down the sidewalk because of the stroller brigade.
5. Everywhere you look you see children who are wayyy too old to be in a stroller.
6. You're aware that your local coffee shop will never be quiet.
7. Nor will any restaurants.
8. In fact, the dulcet tones of sobbing follow you wherever you go.
9. Oh, you wanted to sit down at the bar where you are a paying customer? Haha, sucker.
10. You inwardly groan whenever a school group gets on public transit with you.
11. You've overheard one too many earnest conversations about placenta.
12. You dread walking into a public bathroom to be greeted by this.
13. You just *love* when a child sneezes/coughs/snots all over you and their parent thinks it's cute.
14. You've been woken up by the neighbors' kid crying/screaming/running back and forth at all hours of the day.
15. ...and been asked to keep it down the instant you walk in the door.
16. You have the ability to buy diapers 24/7 but no cold six-pack if your life depended on it.
17. On Halloween you have nothing to offer trick-or-treaters besides half a box of Franzia and a frozen personal pizza.
18. You're surrounded by DILFs/MILFs that YOU CAN NEVER HAVE.
19. You know all too well that feeling of overwhelming jealousy where you kinda just want to grab the nearest baby and take it home and cuddle it and raise it as your own but you can't because society frowns.
