3. …or turn your life into a money-hemorrhaging joke.
“I know you said you wanted a sunny, quiet three-bedroom, but I found you this studio with a shared bathroom and an infestation of rats for only three times your budget! Also, it’s only accessible by ferry in the dead of night.”
4. And once you DO find a place that works for you, it’ll require a mountain of paperwork you basically need to produce on the spot.
Everyone on the lease will most likely need proof of employment, their three most recent pay stubs, a tax return, and bank statements. If there’s a guarantor in the mix, they’ll need all of that as well. If you really want to move quickly on a place or are in a competitive market (like, say, the aforementioned glory that is the Big Apple) it pays to have all that stuff on hand when you go to view an apartment.
12. And even though you can stock up on some kinds of food, others will go bad long before you ever use them.
All those imagined nights of beautifully pressed panini, down the drain.
13. Installing an air conditioner is tough. Paying someone a week’s salary to install one for you is tougher.
It’s really not as hard as it seems, just heavy (especially if your friend’s boyfriend used to work at Lowe’s and is willing to do it for you in exchange for booze and eternal gratitude).
17. You’ll have to find chairs that match the table your roommate’s* parents let them haul out of the basement.
Sadly, Ikea furniture doesn’t come in “water-stained termite-riddled taupe.”
- /significant other’s/ estranged long-lost relative’s.
18. Speaking of living with other people: Once you’ve pooled your worldly possessions, chances are you will wind up with 64 forks and zero butter knives.
It’s just physics.
20. Unless, of course, it goes to the other extreme.
Oh Seamless, you alluring nightmare siren.
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