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    The 18 Most Insane Sex Toys For Sale On Etsy

    Do. It. Yourself.

    1. Crocheted Dildo/Granny Square

    "Fun Stripe." Available here.

    2. Jesus Dildo

    Its maker describes it as "a hunk of pious penis art," so do with that what you will.

    3. Diletto Stiletto

    Wow/ow. Available here.

    4. Butt Plug Tail

    It's on sale for summer.

    5. Secret Sex-Toy-Compartment Tissue Box

    Plus, the tissues will probably come in handy.

    6. Confetti Dildo

    Can I just say how happy I am to have finally managed to type that phrase in a semi-professional setting.

    7. Handmade Leather Flogger

    Lovingly crafted.

    8. Truly Terrifying Glass Dildo

    9. Even More Terrifying Bunny Monster Dildo

    Get it here, I guess, ugh, maybe.

    10. Easter Island Butt Plug

    For the explorer in you.

    11. Homemade Edible Lube.

    Mm. Available here.

    12. Dildo/Bottle Opener

    Sometimes you have to multitask.

    13. Vintage Vibrator

    14. Terracotta Finger Dildo

    15. Crocheted Strap-On Harness

    Great for keeping your granny square dildo in place. Available here.

    16. Hulk Penis

    That's not the actual name, but tell me I'm wrong.

    17. Zombie Finger Dildo

    Dance what you feel.

    18. "Rubber Love" Embroidery

    Oh Etsy, never change.