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    The 18 Most Insane Sex Toys For Sale On Etsy

    Do. It. Yourself.

    1. Crocheted Dildo/Granny Square

    etsy.com

    "Fun Stripe." Available here.

    2. Jesus Dildo

    etsy.com

    Its maker describes it as "a hunk of pious penis art," so do with that what you will.

    3. Diletto Stiletto

    etsy.com

    Wow/ow. Available here.

    4. Butt Plug Tail

    etsy.com

    It's on sale for summer.

    5. Secret Sex-Toy-Compartment Tissue Box

    etsy.com

    Plus, the tissues will probably come in handy.

    6. Confetti Dildo

    etsy.com

    Can I just say how happy I am to have finally managed to type that phrase in a semi-professional setting.

    7. Handmade Leather Flogger

    etsy.com

    Lovingly crafted.

    8. Truly Terrifying Glass Dildo

    9. Even More Terrifying Bunny Monster Dildo

    etsy.com

    Get it here, I guess, ugh, maybe.

    10. Easter Island Butt Plug

    etsy.com

    For the explorer in you.

    11. Homemade Edible Lube.

    etsy.com

    Mm. Available here.

    12. Dildo/Bottle Opener

    etsy.com

    Sometimes you have to multitask.

    13. Vintage Vibrator

    14. Terracotta Finger Dildo

    15. Crocheted Strap-On Harness

    etsy.com

    Great for keeping your granny square dildo in place. Available here.

    16. Hulk Penis

    etsy.com

    That's not the actual name, but tell me I'm wrong.

    17. Zombie Finger Dildo

    etsy.com

    Dance what you feel.

    18. "Rubber Love" Embroidery

    etsy.com

    Oh Etsy, never change.