5. By faking your own death.
“You make my heart beat so fast that in return, I’d like to give you a heart attack.”
9. With a digested ring.
(In 2007, a guy in England stole a platinum engagement ring for his girlfriend by swallowing it at a jewelry store. Police waited for three days for the ring to, in the words of the article, “emerge.”)
“I mean, I guess I could have bought one of those lame blue boxes, but I thought my own small intestine was way more romantic.”
10. Maybe we should just leave food out entirely.
” :( “
This is the tweet (which, for the record, worked).December 16, 2012
“If I spent more than 140 characters on this shit, sugarpie, we wouldn’t be young and beautiful anymore.”
17. On the open water.
(This Michigan man had the romantic idea of proposing to his girlfriend on a canoe trip, which went horribly awry when they got stranded miles from shore and had to call 911.)
“Babydoll, I know you’re seasick, but just know that my feelings for you burn brighter than these emergency flares that we just ran out of.”
She said yes, by the way.
- Iraqi forces have launched an offensive to take back ISIS-held Fallujah. About 50,000 civilians are trapped in the city.
- Yep. Marco Rubio said he's sorry for implying Donald Trump has a small penis.
- Chad's ex-ruler Hissene Habre has been convicted of crimes against humanity in a groundbreaking trial in Senegal.