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Stuff You Hoped You'd Have In Your Twenties Vs. What You Actually Have

Wait, where'd that stain come from?

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Hoped you'd have: a cozy, light-filled home.

To share with someone you love! Or at least with a couple of your friends who aren't like OCD-clean but do their own dishes and always have half a bottle of bourbon on hand. Or alone.
pinterest.com

To share with someone you love! Or at least with a couple of your friends who aren't like OCD-clean but do their own dishes and always have half a bottle of bourbon on hand. Or alone.

Actually have: an overpriced hovel.

Complete with an illegal space heater and three to six roommates whose sex noises you've learned to identify.
worstroom.com

Complete with an illegal space heater and three to six roommates whose sex noises you've learned to identify.

Or:

I mean the cat looks rad.
cheezburger.com

I mean the cat looks rad.

Hoped you'd have: a signature hairstyle.

Actually have: an uncontrollable mess.

SOCK BUNS ARE A MYTH AND NOBODY CAN ACHIEVE THEM.
thats-normal.com

SOCK BUNS ARE A MYTH AND NOBODY CAN ACHIEVE THEM.

Hoped you'd have: a neatly organized closet full of tasteful yet stylish clothes.

Actually have: a broken Ikea dresser.

Crammed with bras you're too scared to wash, tops you wore in college that are too see-through to wear to work (and also you don't want your bare skin touching the subway seats anyway), T-shirts with permanently yellow underarms.
Flickr: 30842792@N05

Crammed with bras you're too scared to wash, tops you wore in college that are too see-through to wear to work (and also you don't want your bare skin touching the subway seats anyway), T-shirts with permanently yellow underarms.

Hoped you'd have: a furry friend to care for.

Actually have: a dead cactus.

RIP.

Hoped you'd have: an inspiring workspace in which to complete all of your world-changing projects.

Actually have: a makeshift cubicle.

Bonus points if you're actually being paid to do your job.
wired.com

Bonus points if you're actually being paid to do your job.

Hoped you'd have: health insurance.

Shutterstock

Actually have: duct tape and a prayer.

Hoped you'd have: a kitchen stocked with everything you need to throw all those dinner parties.

Actually have: a gross frying pan to heat up three-day-old leftovers.

Hoped you'd have: matching bra-and-underwear sets/boxer briefs that don't make you look like you're in middle school.

Actually have: holey, saggy things you buy in packs of five.

Hoped you'd have: nearby outdoor space in which to frolic.

Actually have: scaffolding as far as the eye can see.

At least you don't feel it when it rains. That much.
nyc.com

At least you don't feel it when it rains. That much.

Hoped you'd have: a place to work out.

Plus, like, the motivation and time and energy, but details.
shutterstock

Plus, like, the motivation and time and energy, but details.

Actually have:

Who says grown-ups can't have snacktime? COMMUNISTS, THAT'S WHO.
thestir.cafemom.com

Who says grown-ups can't have snacktime? COMMUNISTS, THAT'S WHO.

Hoped you'd have: a shelf full of books to unwind with in your spare time.

Given to you by thoughtful, cosmopolitan friends and lovers.
pinterest.com

Given to you by thoughtful, cosmopolitan friends and lovers.

Actually have: a stack of magazines from three months ago.

You tell yourself you'll recycle them but somehow you always end up dumping them in the trash.
guardian.co.uk

You tell yourself you'll recycle them but somehow you always end up dumping them in the trash.

Hoped you'd have: productive hobbies.

Actually have: unproductive habits.

Bottoms up, team.
thelmagazine.com

Bottoms up, team.

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