Hoped you'd have: a cozy, light-filled home.
Actually have: an overpriced hovel.
Or:
Hoped you'd have: a signature hairstyle.
Actually have: an uncontrollable mess.
Hoped you'd have: a neatly organized closet full of tasteful yet stylish clothes.
Actually have: a broken Ikea dresser.
Hoped you'd have: a furry friend to care for.
Actually have: a dead cactus.
Hoped you'd have: an inspiring workspace in which to complete all of your world-changing projects.
Actually have: a makeshift cubicle.
Hoped you'd have: health insurance.
Actually have: duct tape and a prayer.
Hoped you'd have: a kitchen stocked with everything you need to throw all those dinner parties.
Actually have: a gross frying pan to heat up three-day-old leftovers.
Hoped you'd have: matching bra-and-underwear sets/boxer briefs that don't make you look like you're in middle school.
Actually have: holey, saggy things you buy in packs of five.
Hoped you'd have: nearby outdoor space in which to frolic.
Actually have: scaffolding as far as the eye can see.
Hoped you'd have: a place to work out.
Actually have:
Hoped you'd have: a shelf full of books to unwind with in your spare time.
Actually have: a stack of magazines from three months ago.
Hoped you'd have: productive hobbies.
Actually have: unproductive habits.
