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The 19 Worst Crimes Ever Perpetrated Against Pumpkins

They're just innocent lil gourds, leave them alone. (NSFW, unfortunately.)

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1. Any time a pumpkin is made to look like it's vomiting.

2. Any time a pumpkin is made to look like it's vomiting A DIFFERENT FOOD.

3. When a pumpkin is forced to toke against its will.

4. Or to eat one of its brethren.

6. Or a human.

This one's a double whammy.

7. Two words: Punkin' Chunkin'.

I know, I know, it's a well-loved cultural event filled with laughter and drinking and merriment, but THOSE POOR PUNKINS. They never dreamed they'd one day grow up to be projectiles.

8. When a pumpkin is used as a canvas for the immature.

11. Or the downright obscene.

13. Whenever someone sees fit to make a pumpkin resemble a human butt.

14. Especially if there is underwear involved.

15. Especially if there is ~this~ involved.

16. That goes double for men's genitalia.

17. And quadruple for what's going on here.