My Puny Little American Mind Cannot Comprehend Why These 28 Tweets From Last Week Are SOoOOOoOo Funny
"Why drive 10 minutes for food when I can order DoorDash for $900."
Welcome. It's Monday again, which means it's time to round up all the funniest moments from Twitter that happened in the past week. We've got memes about American vs. European minds, a unique first date idea, and reactions to Gmail adding emojis. Enjoy!
1.
as a millennial dad I’ve never not been Too Online so I know the best combination of buzzwords to maximize being annoying to my tween; she got a meatball sub for lunch and I said “oh she in her marinara era for real” and the eye roll could have powered our house for a year
— ＷＥＴ ＡＲＭＡＤＩＬＬＯ (@BauceSauce) September 7, 2023
2.
the european mind can't comprehend this pic.twitter.com/jcdwDIkfFz
— cold 🥑 (@coldhealing) September 8, 2023
3.
yes I can it looks round like burger https://t.co/zmPfORHpyz
— not even sure what i’m doing here (@sablaah) September 10, 2023
4.
How your email finds me pic.twitter.com/kSgjKszVZY
— Paul Anthony Jones (@paulanthjones) September 6, 2023
5.
Stop hating Monday. Be a professional and hate the whole week.
— Johnrey (@Jessx_09) September 10, 2023
6.
one of my hinge matches actually booked us a therapy session. will be back with an update on how it goes. 🫡 pic.twitter.com/LHY2gdMgW0
— cosita 🎰 (@luna_leia_) September 8, 2023
7.
Me after mixing random chemıcαls to clean the bathroom with the door shut: pic.twitter.com/mKgjm1Bm64
— JAY JAY 🩵 (@Jameca2011) September 8, 2023
8.
Aight next week https://t.co/wko8NWYjNe pic.twitter.com/BrQUmbb0LO
— chlobuchar (@me_im_chloe) September 6, 2023
9.
Love having offline friends because I get texts like this pic.twitter.com/ZT2NM4rYUL
— madam senatHER (@reallifesenator) September 5, 2023
10.
Kris Jenner at Timothée Chalamet’s house telling him to get on that bus and fulfill his Kontractual obligations of dating her daughter pic.twitter.com/zc5IsnluAK
— Meech (@MediumSizeMeech) September 5, 2023
11.
the universe wanted to make sure i had a good laugh this morning! pic.twitter.com/9nxvPl9fOc
— Monica Lewinsky (she/her) (@MonicaLewinsky) September 8, 2023
12.
i wanna eat these like the lunchables ham https://t.co/gIVDc2WJdN
— Sydney Battle (@SydneyBattle) September 9, 2023
13.
oppenheimer did WHAT????!!! pic.twitter.com/D50WHykqCq
— ܐܹܢܟܝܼ (@ankidouna) September 9, 2023
14.
me, watching the airplane’s wing during takeoff…trying to figure out if those little flaps are supposed to be moving like that: pic.twitter.com/05QsBxgZ2P
— Invis🍒 (@invis4yo) September 9, 2023
15.
why drive 10 minutes for food when i can order doordash for $900
— 𝒔𝒑𝒊𝒄𝒆𝒈𝒖𝒓𝒍 𓂋 (@hydingadork) September 9, 2023
17.
Me getting in the Way back of an Uber https://t.co/e8rWK2NrXa
— Kilometers (@dolphinhelpdesk) September 9, 2023
18.
Me: What theme do you want for your birthday party?
— Dave Shumka (@daveshumka) September 8, 2023
4-year-old: “Subdued elegance.”
Pottery Barn: pic.twitter.com/roih7iO1e2
19.
anything was funny in high school. one time the teacher asked us what our favorite flavor of ice cream was and I said pistachio. someone behind me immediately said “bro said pistachio”. it was so over for me
— Ali (@AliEzzoBezzo) September 10, 2023
20.
why is putting on shoes so embarrassing i always end up sat on someone’s hallway floor fighting for my life as they’re trying to say goodbye to me
— Phil Lester (@AmazingPhil) September 10, 2023
21.
😭 I love her. She is the most versatile emoji. She can be happy. She can be sad. She can be aghast. But no matter what, she is dramatic
— thot choc (@shreyabasu003) September 10, 2023
22.
Imagine sending your CV and the company replies with a “😭😭😭” https://t.co/tvtwpX0vD3
— dinaledi aligning (@____justsihle) September 9, 2023
23.
*Hope this email finds you well*
— Emeka. (@emekanu) September 9, 2023
Me: 😐 https://t.co/74d4vu67yj
24.
my dad has a bunch of friends over and one of the guys just asked him to pause the game so he could announce his divorce
— bailey moon (@baileymoon96) September 10, 2023
25.
he used to hate posting but now that we done he actin like iCarly
— Noor ✭ (@Noorthevirgo) September 8, 2023
26.
Listening to guts pic.twitter.com/YR7aPpvNnf
— Rose Dommu (@rosedommu) September 8, 2023
27.
guy dinner pic.twitter.com/ilIZJhinRd
— messed up foods (@messedupfoods) September 6, 2023
28.
yolanda hadid making her family lunch: https://t.co/5V3vvF8KhF
— Brooklyn (@bklynb4by) September 9, 2023