How To Help A Friend Through Depression

It'll be tough but you can do it!

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Although many times depression can resemble an obvious footprint that is being hidden by a beautiful vase of flowers, it is so prevalent in our society that it (specifically major depressive disorder) "affects approximately 14.8 million American adults, or about 6.7 percent of the U.S. population age 18 and older, in a given year." Unfortunately, many people still refuse to see depression (and mental illness in general) as a serious condition. Because it is not as simple to diagnose as kidney failure for example, mental illness is treated as a phase that will run its course and then eventually go away by itself.

But since we're not idiots we both know that telling someone with a mental illness to "get over it" does nothing. So what can you do to help someone going through this?

1. Don't Judge

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Well first of all, make sure that you don't diminish their problems! Sometimes they'll feel silly talking about things that might not be problems for other people but are as intimidating as the Tower of Terror to them. Don't say things such as "why would that matter?" or "what's the big deal?" It's very important that they feel like you have their back so make sure to be there to offer support.

2. Don't Always Give Your Opinion

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This ties into the first point but basically don't assume that you know what they're going through. Even if you had a bout with depression, it doesn't mean that your experience was exactly the same as theirs. If they ask you for advice, then go for it! But don't assume that they always will want to hear your opinion on something. Like with most venting sessions, many times people just want to talk to someone who will sit and listen. This goes with the same idea of don't try to solve their problems. Unless your friend specifically asks for advice, don't try and fix their problems. Sometimes it will just help them to complain and for you to respond with a loving "that sucks."

3. Don't Rush Them

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This is a big one. Don't think that just because you bring them flowers one day and tell them it's going to be okay that they will magically heal and rejoice that their depression is over. This is going to be a journey for them (and for you if you're willing to join them), so expect some difficulty along the way. Mental illnesses are not cured overnight and being a true friend means being there for them through the good and the bad. It's going to take time and you might get frustrated at times but know that they are getting better slowly and part of that reason is because of you.

And lastly let's not forget about you...

Helping someone through depression is stressful, tiring, nervewrecking, and more! This WILL take an emotional toll on you so make sure to know where to draw the line. After all, your mental health is just as important as theirs is. When being a support system for someone, you'll need your own support system. Being around that negative energy can be draining so make sure to spend time with other people in addition to that friend. Also, if your friend's depression gets to the point where you are very concerned about their wellbeing, don't keep that in. Remember that there are people who can help your friend besides you, you don't have to carry all that weight on your shoulders! It might feel scary when talking to your friend at times because you want to make sure you don't say something that'll hurt their feelings. It's a lot of pressure and just think that even people like therapists who train and study for these situations can still get it wrong. Just remember to help your friend but also to help yourself.

You got this!

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