Your 2010 World Cup WAG Guide

Soccer WAGs ("wives and girlfriends") are to the rest of the world what The Hills stars are to America: beautiful, shiny bobbleheads that show up in tabloids and occasionally on TV. Victoria Beckham is the Queen WAG, but since she won't be at the World Cup, you'd better get acquainted with the supporting cast.

• Coleen Rooney

  

  Née McLoughlin, Coleen is arguably the heir to Posh's WAG throne. She is the childhood sweetheart and now wife of Manchester United striker Wayne Rooney, who better fucking win the World Cup for England or they'll never let him come home. Coleen's style has thankfully transformed from chav to Pretty Trendy Princess since the last world cup, and she's featured in the Daily Mail almost daily. She also writes columns and whatnot, if you need advice on how to spend your husband's £120,000 per week.

• Abbey Clancey

  

  You might remember Abbey from the delightful Verne Troyer photobomb. Abbey is the fiancée of Peter Crouch, who infamously dumped her via fax during the 2006 World Cup. They reconciled 6 months later, and now Abbey spends her time modeling and hosting reality shows.

• Alena Seredova

  

  Alena is a Czech model turned top Italian WAG. She's married to Italian keeper Gigi Buffon and apparently has a clothing line.

• Sylvie van der Vaart

  

  Sylvie here is a Dutch model turned actress, TV presenter, and wife of Rafael van der Vaart. She most recently competed on the Dutch version of Strictly Come Dancing. Here she is jamming to Kung Fu Fighting.

• Alice Bregoli

  

  Alice is the wife of Italian striker Alberto Gilardino. She seems to spend less time on TV than your average WAG, although she did pose for Umbro's World Cup WAG collection.

• Irina Shayk

  

  Irina here is allegedly the latest girlfriend of Portuguese dbag playboy (and sometimes soccer player) Ronaldo. That may or may not last until the World Cup starts, so enjoy her now.

• Alex Curran Gerrard

  

  Alex Curran Gerrard, wife of Steven Gerrard, is many things (columnist, fashion commentator, and perfume designer), but mostly she is the face of Shake Weight. Not kidding.

• Luli Fernandez

  

  Luli is the girlfriend and maybe fiancee (though probably not, because she got in trouble recently for sexting with another player) of Argentina's Pablo Mouche. Besides the typical model/actress/TV presenter WAG hat trick, she is also an ICE skater.

• Sarah Brandner

  

  Sarah is the longtime girlfriend of German midfielder Bastian Schweinsteiger. Above, she is wearing bodypaint.

• Honorable Mentions

  You should know these WAGs and former WAGs, but none of them will be at the World Cup. Still, no one should live without Cheryl Cole in their lives.

• Victoria Beckham

  

  Duh.

• Cheryl Cole

  

  The Girls Aloud turned solo star finally left dirtbag Chelsea player Ashley Cole after years of infidelity. "Fight For This Love" is a very important song that you should put on repeat immediately.

• Ilary Blasi

  

  Ilary is married to Italian soccer player Francesco Totti, who did not make the World Cup team.

• Noémie Lenoir

  

  Noémie, a French supermodel and actress, is the former girlfriend of Claude Makélélé.

• Helen Svedin

  

  Helen is a Swedish model (the face of H&M!) and married to former Portuguese player Luís Figo.