This post has not been vetted or endorsed by BuzzFeed's editorial staff. BuzzFeed Community is a place where anyone can create a post or quiz. Try making your own!
Stock Tips From Shia LaBeouf
Shia LaBeouf is a trader now! He made Wall Street 2, and now he's giving tips to reporters. Luckily, he also agreed to share some hot tips here. $$$ ahead!
-
Let's get up in the market and find us some STOCKS.
-
Buy: InterOil
This is the one I told the GQ guy about. Major momentum. Believe the hype.
-
Sell: Avon Products
One word: mancession. Another word: ladycession.
-
Buy: Petsmart
Call and put, baby! Puppies!
-
Short: Apple
Big bucks only go to the ballsy, man! Bear-wolfish.
-
Buy: Chipotle Mexican Grill, Inc.
Bull market for vegan burritos. Double short-swing.
-
Buy: Skechers USA
Then you can ride her. Derivatives!
-
Sell: Men's Wearhouse, Inc
No chance for a Pac-Man.
-
Short: Office Depot
Single stock futures are UP, redlining minimal. Get in there and CLOSE.
-
Buy: Bones from a Vendor You Trust
Quality bones are crucial for any sort of stock. Don't skimp; you deserve the best.
-
And remember:
Coffee is for traders only.
Want to get your very own quizzes and posts featured on BuzzFeed’s homepage and app?
Become a Community Contributor.
Become a Community Contributor.