This summer is flying by, and I can't believe we're already about to start August! Before this month is over, enjoy some of the funniest tweets from this July:
And follow the accounts that made you laugh so your Twitter timeline will be even better!
1.
so unserious dhdjdjfkfkfn
3.
No she was so real for this
4.
it is 91 degrees outside put that natural deodorant DOWN
5.
need his dick to go “BOOOOINGGG” every time i text him
6.
Jay-Z: Can I record a verse for your album? Beyoncé: #Renaissance
7.
Carrie and I share one key difference:
8.
Why church people never admit they got fired? Talking bout “God closed that door”
9.
spelling 'Renaissance' been whipping my ass each and every time. I think I'mma just call it Renee.
10.
me if homie hopping becomes illegal
11.
cant do acid w ugly people ima get scared
12.
i eat pussy while kicking my feet in the air
13.
we were flirting n she mentions she got a iud… who tf thinks driving drunk is sexy???
15.
At the gym doing throat day
16.
people w no tattoos have great inner strength. there is nothing in this world that could have stopped 19 year old me from tattooing stars on my body. couldnt do it
18.
The third act of a Scream film
19.
when u make an excuse not to go out & they come up with a solution
20.
Me after trauma dumping in my English paper and receiving an A
21.
One time on the Bernie campaign I got in trouble because I named an event "Weekend at Bernie's" like a week after he had a heart attack
22.
I ain’t ever seen Tristan Thompson in the news for basketball
23.
dc is just linkedin but in real life
24.
second hand embarrassment is so annoying cuz literally how is that my business
25.
the dentist said i grind in my sleep. he real af for that
26.
This tweet lives in my head rent free.
27.
All the ads on the subway are like “When ‘Oops’ becomes ‘Yup,’ get your favorite soup delivered to CityMD…without the hassle of roommates. Did we mention it’s Friday?”
28.
and in this moment jordan peele knew she’d be in nope
29.
all those galaxies with trillions of planets inside and we ended up on the one with a 40 hour work week
30.
Not saying anything during the entire zoom meeting and then saying “bye everybody” enthusiastically at the end >>>>>>>
31.
literally the best tweet in the world
32.
i knew i was a real flirt when i had a lil boo in the psych ward
33.
“hot girl summer” and it’s literally just me rotting in bed and watching movies
34.
{training the new oompa loompa} have you ever seen a dead body
35.
hey sorry i'm late to the meeting. society is crumbling and my body is failing me. anyway let's talk KPIs
36.
me creating a playlist
37.
LMAOOO
41.
Me when the bouncer holds up my ID
42.
this can’t be the same USA Miley was partying in
43.
No bc why would my husband say this???
44.
You’re never going to own a house, order the avocado toast
45.
😭
46.
my conditioner watching me have yet another breakdown in the shower
47.
“4 tickets to the Barbie movie, please”
49.
Due to inflation my love will now be costing a thing
50.
What the fuck did Jolene look like? https://t.co/WRkBm9ua5u
51.
must have been crazy to fight in ww2 and see some of the worst atrocities a person can and then come back home and everyone is like do you want to do the jitterbug
52.
my little cousin just asked if i’ve seen the clown that hides from gay people and i said no cause i didn’t understand the joke
53.
Flopping in the group chat
54.
me in the backseat when my friends are asking whats the next move when i was supposed to be home 2 hours ago
55.
if i was a bird i already know who i wouId shit on
56.
57.
I love how content creators with full time jobs be like “did this before i started work at 9am and did this on my lunch break” like yes baby, keeping lying. we love a smart person that knows the companies are lurking. 😂
59.
“hello kitty doesn’t do xans” ur right she does ketamine
60.
when it’s 4am and mfs talking about “what’s the next move”
62.
me smoking by myself: “Damn my turn again?”
63.
short bitches be like “i’m not short, i’m fun sized”, then will go ahead and be the least fun person you’ve ever met in ur life
64.
Girls love men who are 7s. He’s gotta look a little weird. Men who are 10s often give off “get their brows groomed” vibes, not good
65.
that's right
66.
*Vacation PTO request denied* Me:
67.
“This edible ain’t shit” The edible:
68.
Not me taking Prep daily to never get touched
69.
the prep and covid vaccines in my system after i get the monkeypox vaccine
70.
That girl from Twilight can love 2 guys and it's romantic but when I do it im a hoe 🤦🏻♀️
71.
call me elvis the way i don’t give a shit 💯
72.
73.
Why people leave things in Jesus hands, knowing he got holes in them is beyond me..