I Can't Stop Laughing At The 51 Things These People Actually Posted On Twitter This Month
"When your card declines at therapy, so they bring out the 19-year-old version of you."
February has sped by, and there have been too many hilarious jokes from Twitter this month that you might've missed! So here are some of the funniest viral tweets from this February:
And follow the accounts that made you laugh so that your Twitter feed is that much better!
1.
when you brush ur teeth and spit out blood it’s like ok nice that was a good brush
— fortunate son (@apbofficial) February 22, 2024
2.
Someone said "30 years ago", and my mind went to the 1970s, but they meant 1994, and now I need to lie down.
— John Paul (@IAm_JohnPaulAF) February 27, 2024
3.
Please stop letting Tesla owners be Uber drivers how the Fuck do I get out
— ash (@ANGELBABYBITTY) February 19, 2024
4.
I heard someone refer to a person who likes multiple genres of music as "Polyjamorous" and that is how I'll be identifying from now on.
— ᴎiɿɘ (@erinh5995) February 22, 2024
6.
i physically cannot make a spotify playlist without adding every song i’ve ever liked. i’ll start one called “sad :(” and it’ll end up with temperature by sean paul on it
— chase (@_chase_____) February 23, 2024
7.
Everytime I open Peacock it tries to get me to watch Oppenheimer… girl I am here to watch Couple to Throuple please be serious
— macklin (@saintmacklin) February 17, 2024
8.
men will turn 30 and still be like “idk what i want :/“ & like u have 5 more years with hair so please figure it out
— gen🥂 (@genmxn) February 13, 2024
9.
love smoking with paranoid bitches like yes girl they’re coming but we stronger!!!
— b 𐙚 (@taurusidiot) February 20, 2024
10.
I just said “type shit” in a meeting man, smh who hiring
— DJ parlay dior (@DJJordanJetson) February 22, 2024
11.
Me: These drinks taste like juice
— Fredo (@FredoInDaCut995) February 24, 2024
Me an hour later pic.twitter.com/afGXUnaDzy
13.
what’s the lowest stakes conspiracy theory you have? i think airplane mode is a hoax because they don’t want you texting your friends and telling them you’re not having fun on the plane
— soul nate (@MNateShyamalan) February 26, 2024
14.
when ur card declines in therapy so they bring out the friends u made first week of uni
— ayaan (@ayaankhawn) February 6, 2024
15.
*horniest dude who’s ever existed*
— lil arab (@sweatyhairy) February 27, 2024
that’s sick 😃 what does being a project manager entail?
17.
A married man just complained to me about how hard dating is for him these days pic.twitter.com/7Hrn6lu68k
— Nader (@NKinRealLife) February 13, 2024
18.
mcdonalds should have to say "Excellent choice sir" to whatever you order
— Max 🪻 (@ImSmilingRn) February 27, 2024
19.
the weed telling me to get scared pic.twitter.com/6eD1DMr8FH
— ryan 🌙 (@ryxn888) February 26, 2024
20.
catholics every friday during lent pic.twitter.com/JmKXpcfGU9
— kim (@KimmyMonte) February 26, 2024
21.
6 year old me in the car thinking the moon is following me pic.twitter.com/Af0n9s4PFM
— ☔ (@Whotfismick) February 26, 2024
22.
This is what my mom sees when I say I haven’t been dating anyone pic.twitter.com/BFgBOS4Quh
— Hunter (@highendhomo) February 25, 2024
23.
ex bf’s twin brother is my hinge most compatible pic.twitter.com/P0qndcMAK3
— casey anthony funko pop (@homeofsexuals) February 20, 2024
24.
Turn those ig likes back on baby we know you’re flopping and we love you for it !!!
— serena shahidi (@glamdemon2004) February 26, 2024
25.
long distance couples be like “i can’t wait” and then wait
— ☔ (@Whotfismick) February 12, 2024
26.
Calling me at 3am for sum 🍑 is DISGUSTING !! Where is yo morals?? Where is yo self respect?? What is your address? Where is yo house? Where do I park? 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭
— Augustin ⋆.˚⭒⋆.˚ (@avggiee) February 8, 2024
27.
i miss him (he was one of the shittiest people i’ve ever met)
— ronald (*˘︶˘*).｡.:*♡✧*。 (@seismically) February 9, 2024
28.
whatever gets her into that therapist’s office https://t.co/rfARxXbwhT
— redacted (@aquariusdays) February 6, 2024
29.
“tHaNkS fOr YoUr pAyMeNt!”
— krismadarame (@krismadarame) February 1, 2024
Shut up. I paid that bill against my will.
30.
how i feel waking up from a weed coma, mouth dry, phone dead, light on and still kinda high pic.twitter.com/QaF5vlHkLE
— Kash⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️ (@kailakkash) February 10, 2024
31.
god forbid i help sell hotdogs on the street https://t.co/CSD4hwSmMW
— raechel 🌟 (@raechelg_) February 10, 2024
32.
Home remodeling is my passion pic.twitter.com/qzyslC5fgB
— zone too thanker 🍉 (@christweetsllc) January 30, 2024
33.
going to the gym consistently requires so much laundry pic.twitter.com/sEGlJQWN3W
— 𝓚𝓮𝓵𝓵 ♰ (@kellthegal) February 5, 2024
34.
saying “who’s this little guy!” when friends introduce me to their boyfriends
— miss worm (@missuswormy) February 5, 2024
35.
I lied there’s no sex put your clothes back on lets play wordhunt
— Rolls Reus (@D9N9ABI9) February 11, 2024
36.
going on reddit for me is like going into spencers in the mall. i need to find something very specific but im uncomfortable the whole time and dont want anyone to know im there
— archivist barbie 💌 (@daiquiriheiress) February 5, 2024
37.
my friends needa get it together.. i wanna go to a wedding
— luv (@luvvt23) February 7, 2024
38.
some guy named edible: pic.twitter.com/WKPCxHWsD8
— zae (@itszaeok) February 10, 2024
39.
“Are you gay?”
— Brian Scally (@Brian_Scally) February 9, 2024
Me in middle school: pic.twitter.com/MizcgxavI1
40.
I CANT BREATHE THIS IS SO pic.twitter.com/9YxyOoqcvX
— naia ☆.ᐟ (@biforvi) February 2, 2024
41.
boys shorter than 5'9 be cool asf like you know what tinkerbell i kinda fw you
— Isaac (@i_zackito) February 7, 2024
42.
when your card accepts at therapy and they bring out meeeee!!! :3 and then we get to hang out <3<3<3
— Fat Bella Hadid (@jambettestan) February 7, 2024
43.
“have you ever watched the godfather?” pic.twitter.com/d9U4H8rKX7
— Brooklyn (@bklynb4by) February 8, 2024
44.
i love when a crush wears off like yes i am free
— 3rd grade spelling bee champion (@thecliquelover) February 8, 2024
45.
she was my lab partner in organic chemistry. and she carried us https://t.co/S8eEa503pD
— megan (@chismosavirus) February 8, 2024
46.
You ever think about how peaceful it must be inside the brain of a stupid person?
— chris evans (@notcapnamerica) February 7, 2024
47.
me when they’re grating the parmesan cheese at olive garden pic.twitter.com/mrAxsodfa4
— peri ❄️ (@osnapitzperi) February 4, 2024
48.
beyoncé watching the super bowl and pretending like she didn’t just break the internet pic.twitter.com/BnijUYr3N3
— wiLL (@willfulchaos) February 12, 2024
49.
the freest person in the world is a 34 year old white woman who clocks into work and greets her coworker with “hey chica”
— james (@jms_tny) February 13, 2024
50.
when ur card declines at therapy so they bring out the 19 year old version of u
— trish (@ULTRAGLOSS) February 7, 2024
51.
damn february got somewhere to be don’t it
— nyny. (@imjustnyaa) February 21, 2024