58 Things People Posted On The Internet This Month That Are Way, Way, Way, Way, Way, Way, Way, Way, Way Funnier Than They Should Be
"One of my friends had an interview with Apple and she wore a black turtleneck and glasses and told the interviewer, 'Do I look familiar?'"
Another month has quickly come and gone, so you probably missed out on some outrageously hilarious things that were posted online. But no worries! As expected, I gathered the funniest tweets from this month for you to see for yourself:
And follow the accounts that made you laugh so your Twitter timeline will be even better!
1.
grabbing dinner w ur friend is like omg these fries r epic. also I cried myself to sleep last night. Can u pass the ketchup. You won’t believe who’s crawled back into my DMs. Are are you down to try this new spot tom? I hate him. The weather was so nice today
— 💡 (@NourFarouk1) April 28, 2024
2.
People that eat yogurt need to relax. Stop scraping the bottom 27 times. Its blueberry yogurt not crack.
— Vinyl Witch 🧙🏻 (@Aflgirl126) April 17, 2024
3.
i cannot believe my frontal lobe is fully developed. like this is it for the rest of my life lol i’m so fucked.
— grant🪐 (@svdden_grant) April 17, 2024
4.
Got fired from the Bluey writers room cause I kept pitching the dad having an affair
— Chris Thorburn (@CBThorburn) April 18, 2024
5.
working theory that men have an easier time opening jars mostly because they don’t moisturize properly
— keta (@keta_mean_) April 26, 2024
6.
he prefers side chicks bc his mother was one
— tatyana 🧛♀️ (@heluvstat) April 27, 2024
7.
Lmao why would the Amazon driver throw my package at my door. The delivery picture show the package still in the air 😂😂😂
— Brie 🪷 (@briellegenae) April 27, 2024
8.
thid is a crazy barbershop name. pic.twitter.com/VoROf73S2M
— ICYESTTWAT (@FUCCl) April 23, 2024
9.
I was fighting for my life pic.twitter.com/SToqSBAXdQ
— Kal 🐉 (@kaw1_) March 18, 2024
10.
i live in constant fear of being asked to share a “ fun fact about me ”
— ishowsleep (@soban_af) April 17, 2024
11.
“This year I really want to: Travel more”
— john (@jmce95) April 17, 2024
“Let’s debate this topic: Pineapple on pizza”
“I’m weirdly attracted to: Men”
“Biggest risk I’ve taken: _____ during the middle of a pandemic”
“The best way to ask me out is by: Asking me out”
pic.twitter.com/id5zZfbjHp
12.
Beyoncé: Drops new album
— Andy 🦁 (@AndrsRondon) April 21, 2024
Taylor: Drops new album
Gaga: Drops new movie trailer
Ari: Drops new album AND new movie trailer
Rihanna:
pic.twitter.com/DwtLfaWvke
13.
My issue with Jeopardy is that you never get the sense that the contestants are in any real danger
— game ideas company llc (@bogtrinkets) April 21, 2024
14.
“I was just resting my eyes”
— Pree (@diabolicalpree) April 21, 2024
- a man that was in the deepest sleep
15.
Thisssssss😭😭😭 pic.twitter.com/Qm111dIIdZ
— Chuu 3 (@Chuu4Lenin) April 21, 2024
16.
the days are getting longer, but they aren’t getting warmer pic.twitter.com/p9rtdjKJQI
— B🦋 (@ItsBreDanielle) April 23, 2024
17.
sometimes sitting next to someone in an amc with the recliners is a little too intimate like why must we lie next to each other as man lies with wife
— jolk (@yolko0no) April 25, 2024
18.
introduced my friend to a show and she started liking the wrong ship pic.twitter.com/ZyIV0ae2eW
— eva ⭑ 🎓 (@alliumhater) April 25, 2024
19.
be thinking i look mysterious af and my backpack be wide open
— kira. (@kiratunechi) April 12, 2024
20.
This is how Life is Currently Going. pic.twitter.com/UMg3Ca4daI
— ky *ੈ✩‧₊˚ ೃ⁀➷ (@jilroberts) April 18, 2024
21.
My teen is taking the SAT today. As we were walking out the door, I asked her if she needed a special pencil. She looked at me and said We take it on computers. The air hung quiet between us. Oh I said. Huh I said. It’s the first year she added If it makes you feel any better.
— Mary (@AnniemuMary) April 10, 2024
22.
This is exactly what it feels like to message someone on hinge first pic.twitter.com/LPZVlKUpYi
— rural juror (@ruraljurormovie) April 28, 2024
23.
she was a tortured poet ❤️ pic.twitter.com/g3yiHS0Mnw
— chase. (@cfree94) April 22, 2024
24.
me waking up the hamsters at the pet store pic.twitter.com/uMB4K1jSY2
— wiLL (@willfulchaos) April 22, 2024
25.
crush: *showing me pictures of her family* look at my mom when she was 20 omg she slayed
— kc (@powcampsurvivor) April 9, 2024
me: *trying to use gay slang so she’ll sleep with me later* yeah she looks like a cunt
26.
danced and flirted with a SHIRTLESS man in a gay bar for like 30 mins last night only for him to say he’s actually straight when i asked for his number pic.twitter.com/bjPcEKWKdQ
— chase. (@cfree94) April 7, 2024
27.
eating your lunch in your car at work is the adult version of the high school bathroom stall.
— .:RiotGrlErin:. (@RiotGrlErin) April 11, 2024
28.
stop putting songs on your ig post PLEASE I am begging
— troythedesigner 🦂 (@troythedesigner) April 15, 2024
29.
All day q1 and q2 this and that. Keep the corporate jargon at work lol
— RR (@goodgalre) April 1, 2024
30.
facebook is not a real place pic.twitter.com/aaylwDCuOR
— $𝔩𝔞𝔭☃️ (@slvppy) April 2, 2024
31.
“Situationships” aren’t so bad. You often learn about a new brand or restaurant
— sigh swoon (@sighswoon) April 2, 2024
33.
Went on a date with an actor last thursday and he made me split bill… thought that strike was over pic.twitter.com/8mZ9duxHuQ
— Michael (@Mikemccarthaaay) April 21, 2024
34.
sex and the city is so comforting cause these bitches were in there 30s being dumb ass hoes. so real.
— Rosa (@RoseyPears) April 8, 2024
35.
love when my b*ss airs out his w*rk frustrations to me and says “i don’t know why i’m telling you this” after he lets some inside intel slip like sorry king i have an aura about me that makes people wanna queen out, your natural defenses are slipping
— rei menounos (@boyboygenius) April 9, 2024
36.
employees should get 25-30 hungover days off a year and possibly even more if you really like getting drunk
— Dopey The Dumbfuck (@pete_irons87206) April 10, 2024
37.
I be sitting at a bar thinking I look like a bad bitch whole time I’m hunching my back
— bex (@defnotbex) April 11, 2024
38.
getting dinner w friends is literally just like sex and the city
— b (@gngbryce) April 12, 2024
39.
Requested my birthday off and was denied pic.twitter.com/UgGcaPyiDW
— Joshua 🤠 (@fearlessjosh13) April 9, 2024
40.
no one:
— KNOX (@knoxdotmp3) April 15, 2024
your unemployed friend at 4 PM on a tuesday: pic.twitter.com/k3Xc8hcCfk
41.
being in your 20s is just constantly googling new degrees and jobs in an attempt to find something that would potentially spark a tiny bit of joy
— bags by clairo (@smolproblem) April 14, 2024
42.
the gays definitely had other priorities in 1945 https://t.co/ES5zrGRbKA
— samuele (@180_brat) April 14, 2024
43.
Well, allergy pill, the important thing is that you tried.
— The Card (@JaggedAuthor) April 16, 2024
44.
I can’t believe as a child I’d be asleep at 8pm and wake up for like 6:30? If I go to sleep at 8pm now I’ll wake up at midnight
— Jason Okundaye (@jasebyjason) April 2, 2024
45.
people on twitter: backshots in a sundress with no panties on season almost here
— abby govindan (@abbygov) April 4, 2024
people in real life: hey man how’s it going
46.
Baby they marry women they don’t like https://t.co/GuvbBN9VQD pic.twitter.com/6uwPtmEgug
— Grip Bayless (@talleyberrybaby) April 1, 2024
47.
people who bring their laptops to cafes are the biggest attention seekers ahhh look at me i’m so busy get a grip
— - (@abdvlahi) April 3, 2024
49.
i wanna lose all my inhibitions at chili’s with a bad bitch (my best friend) by my side
— ✮ almondmilkhunni ✮ (@almondmilkhunni) April 3, 2024
50.
I asked my husband if he’s ever seen the movie girl interrupted and he said yes I think so, Cristina Aguilera is in that right? and began to describe Cristina Aguilera in the moulin rouge music video from 2001
— rachel (@seasonal_menu) April 3, 2024
51.
“He doesn’t bite”
— ¡Tooveló! (@aaronic_t) April 6, 2024
Oh girl fuck you. Get this beast away from me
52.
Just farted so loud in the barbershop they talm bout cut him next for he shit
— im not sorry (@alimfrmdao) April 5, 2024
53.
the freakiest person u know probably wears glasses
— body yaazo (@akoslachapa) April 1, 2024
54.
My drunk friend: I love you.
— Big Boss V 💰 (@BigBossVette) April 1, 2024
Me: i know babyy sit down & drink some water please
55.
this next situationship is gonna be the one I can feel it
— Swagless (@nodriporswag) April 15, 2024
56.
Well my ex canceled the Spotify premium I was using which unfortunately means I am revoking his Dads access to my Disney +. Good guy. Hate to see him caught in the crossfire.
— Fina (@FiFiDoYaLoveMi) April 6, 2024
57.
i was talking to my psychiatrist when the earthquake hit but i didn’t want her to put me on antipsychotics so i just didn’t acknowledge it
— jess (@abolish_jess) April 5, 2024
58.
I'm unemployed at heart, and no job will ever change that.
— shiba ennui (@TomSchally) April 28, 2024