64 Things People Posted On The Internet This Month That — I'm Sorry — Are Probably Funnier Than Anything You've Ever Said
"People who have no playlists and just shuffle their liked songs folder are capable of murder."
January is already coming to an end, so of course it's time to share some of the funniest things people said online this month. Here are some hilarious tweets you probably missed from this month:
And follow the accounts that made you laugh so that your Twitter feed is that much better!
1.
by age 26 you should have fumbled your only chance at true happiness like 6 times
— andre (@warmmoistpizza) January 24, 2024
2.
i like being single but come on not everyday
— ☾ (@444haztyz) January 16, 2024
3.
pretty little liars used to scare me at night, i used to think A was outside
— ً (@cryst6l) January 16, 2024
4.
So my bd and I went to the movies last night and we were the only ones in there watching the movie. Y WE FELL ASLEEP AND DIDNT WAKE UP UNTIL 3AM and NOBODY WAS IN THE WHOLE ENTIRE BUILDING!!!!! Mind you it was a 10:30pm showing
— 🐣 (@enimsaj_naoj) January 18, 2024
5.
Showing your barber a reference pic is so humiliating… “hey bro can you make me hot like him 🤭” like ok gay boy
— alxndr (@alexaldente) January 19, 2024
6.
Whenever a guy says “can I ask you something” just say “no thanks.” This has literally never failed me
— nomi (@andletmejustsay) January 19, 2024
7.
“user not found” pic.twitter.com/jh3sh5ScUz
— tat 🪲 (@heluvstat) January 22, 2024
8.
just made love here with someone special pic.twitter.com/zGd26b7Eaf
— a (@aallleeexxxxxx1) January 26, 2024
9.
“Can I be mean for a second” you’re mean all the time just talk
— sleepiest girl in the whole wide world (@v_dcknz) January 27, 2024
10.
the cool thing about being single is you get to date multiple people while only really liking one of them who also happens to be the only one who doesn’t seem to like you. it’s so fun!
— Chris (@citehchris) January 27, 2024
11.
Sluttiest thing a man can do is have a thigh tattoo
— glizzy mcguire (@cleptocowgirl) January 28, 2024
13.
I love seeing art school kids struggle to hold their big ass drawings on their way to school. Hahaha. That's what you get for being gay.
— Mokosh, (@pangpilled) January 29, 2024
14.
i recommended my barber who is a straight man to my gay friend and when they talked during the haircut, my barber asked my gay friend "do you work together" and he said "no we fucked" ????? pic.twitter.com/AgRmBiICEj
— a (@chu1azo) January 19, 2024
15.
I had an apartment inspection 😭 pic.twitter.com/76RyI3VGYx
— ᥫ᭡ T. Garielle 💕 (@Locwittati) January 19, 2024
16.
ppl who have no playlists & just shuffle their liked songs folder are capable of murder
— ava! (@F41rygirl) January 21, 2024
17.
i’ll never fight a bitch who’s lactose intolerant but still eats dairy. you will NOT shit on me bitch!!
— arie (@notsaries) January 24, 2024
18.
boyfriends are kinda like chew toys and if u bite hard enough they’ll squeak
— sab (@sabbyku) January 15, 2024
19.
Sorry i’m late, there was an evil troll blocking the bridge and his riddles were really hard today
— ˚₊‧꒰ა ☆ ໒꒱ ‧₊˚ (@bendergirlfrend) January 15, 2024
20.
i'm high is this a good tweet pic.twitter.com/lvUrGQUaqX
— jenny_tightpants🪑 (@halomancer1) January 16, 2024
21.
gay men are addicted to tweeting their most embarrassing scenarios. what do you mean you ran into your ex in the dark room getting topped by rupaul? what am i supposed to do about that?
— Alex (@alexxmalloy) January 15, 2024
22.
I do not play about overstimulation I will punch you at a Zara 😭
— catalina (@fiImaker) January 13, 2024
23.
I received three job rejections today and it's just like... am I not my grandma's special boy to these people
— not using my name anymore bc it’s cooler that way (@yeahnahaye_) January 12, 2024
24.
Whenever a couple message you on Grindr it’s like “to whom am I speaking?” pic.twitter.com/1tZbwOfrSi
— Daniel (@VertigoShtick) January 8, 2024
25.
me at the pre when i realize we leave in 5 minutes and i've taken 2 sips pic.twitter.com/wnBDaJVqaB
— abby💋🇵🇸 (@messys1ut_) January 28, 2024
26.
my dad and his gf broke up and she took the air fryer pic.twitter.com/EuwZCsv4lW
— bongo (@bongoism) January 24, 2024
27.
wtf do i gotta do to get a bouquet of flowers? die? pic.twitter.com/RJryEX5eCk
— ً (@BALUCIAGA) January 28, 2024
28.
idk how to act when there's a baby in my presence. like...hii..did u watch may december
— troy (@B0Y_TR0Y) January 5, 2024
29.
omg babe <333 the bare minimum? u shouldnt have <33333
— moth (@virtualinsect) January 15, 2024
30.
goldilocks trying the 3 porridges pic.twitter.com/2shujx4hq1
— ⁺ ⋆˚ m ⁺ ⋆˚ (@itsjustmemohit) January 3, 2024
31.
this was when i knew i liked them dumb https://t.co/HUoVqE1BGf pic.twitter.com/bUUzN14xPs
— Richie Supports 🇵🇸 (@Richie_sequel) January 3, 2024
32.
when people be in a relationship for 6+ years… like hurry up other people wanna date you
— alondra (@alondramaren) January 1, 2024
33.
beyoncé when she’s in love: pic.twitter.com/qmc7jIFHXC
— wiLL (@willfulchaos) January 21, 2024
34.
Whole friend group addicted to vapes except me pic.twitter.com/r8oHyiBczV
— boo (@boopyape) January 23, 2024
36.
i know things aren't very fergalicious right now bro but hang in there
— james ᐞ⟁ᐞ (@bootypillow) January 15, 2024
37.
tiktok should do this pic.twitter.com/wC12dr6lws
— Brooklyn (@bklynb4by) January 15, 2024
38.
I was telling my coworkers I’m going to Puerto Vallarta next week and one of them says “just a warning, a lot of LGBT+ go there”…… girl I AM the LGBT+! pic.twitter.com/9KQ9GsGMyp
— Donovan (@d0n0vaaaan) January 5, 2024
39.
work is done, time 2 get high pic.twitter.com/3ZXB3i8qyJ
— capricorn cunt 🎀 (@celesitial) January 20, 2024
40.
Pandemic or not, why do ppl stand so CLOSE behind you while you're waiting in line?? pic.twitter.com/PXsX1yueno
— ☔ (@Whotfismick) January 8, 2024
41.
kills me when i see an ugly man holding a baddie hostage like nooooooo
— ✩ BV ✩ (@bee17v) January 16, 2024
42.
This is so funny because she doesn't? pic.twitter.com/ewJUCMg1kB
— Selena Vyle (@selenavyle) January 26, 2024
44.
if "oh she's taking it" had a physical personification pic.twitter.com/QOLaFwF5FA
— sh✮q 🎧⋆｡𖦹˚ (@shaqscorner) January 16, 2024
45.
the pure disappointment " :/ " holds is stronger than any words could
— ava! (@F41rygirl) January 15, 2024
46.
“how’s feb 14th looking” It’s looking like my rooms gonna sound like a barber shop
— d♱ (@normalgirl53) January 15, 2024
47.
You might be thinking "its so over" but the sun will rise tomorrow and youll be like "were so back"
— Daniel (@dadogeking) January 15, 2024
48.
We’re both😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂watching a film😂😂😂😂😂we’ve BOTH never😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂seen😂😂😂BUT😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂your asking me😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂questionsss as if😂😂😂😂😂😂I’m the director😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂???😂😂😂
— ava! (@F41rygirl) January 12, 2024
50.
me if there was an award for getting stoned every night pic.twitter.com/OdBGU4N7xq
— mar (@itsmariannnna) January 9, 2024
51.
downfall so bad i opened up to my mother😍 🙁😜
— e (@eshaalala) January 13, 2024
53.
I LOVE smoking with paranoid bitches like yes girl they are coming but we are stronger!!!
— Rachel S. Lurs 🔻 (@finallgirll) January 15, 2024
54.
pov: that one friend who doesn’t smoke in a group of smokers pic.twitter.com/EcwMNE5rIP
— matz ౨ৎ (@matzsvision) January 10, 2024
55.
White ppl be like i wouldn’t be opposed
— swag (@chillextremist) January 12, 2024
56.
1st day as a poop coach. wish me luck! pic.twitter.com/3v8Ko63H1m
— Dr. Doug 🥼💊💉🧪 (@RaptorBreath) January 5, 2024
57.
Wanted to show my hook up a funny Tik Tok but his apartment valuation on street easy popped up when I unlocked my phone pic.twitter.com/GGA9xchyO8
— Jenni Tolls 🎱 (@jenni__tolls) January 9, 2024
58.
I just fell on this mat yall im so irritated 🤬😤 pic.twitter.com/l4skfPy0gM
— . (@lexxijeannnnnnn) January 9, 2024
59.
“oh my god i thought i got my period but i checked and i didn’t, thank god” - someone with the wettest pussy unknowingly sharing that information with everyone
— :3 (@antislvtdefense) January 12, 2024
60.
when men put on those lil corset belts at the gym like okay diva!!
— bennie (@b_skross) January 11, 2024
61.
ive literally lived 896,473,051 lives since the last time i posted on insta
— invader zim (@f8the) January 14, 2024
62.
me when i say the word zeitgeist pic.twitter.com/S9n3b0FQVF
— tina fey folk (@amateuroracle) January 4, 2024
64.
sorry i can’t hang out this weekend i have credit card debt
— clare (@sadderlizards) January 18, 2024