67 Hilarious Things People Actually Posted On The Internet This Month That I Want To Remember Forever
"I yawned in the club last night, and my homegirl said, 'Don’t piss me off.'”
Spooky season is already over, and it'll be 2024 in a couple of months! 😳 This month went by so quickly, that you probably missed a lot of these hysterical tweets, so enjoy them now!
And follow the accounts that made you laugh so your Twitter timeline will be even better!
1.
when you flirting too much and almost end up in a relationship pic.twitter.com/etv0BLwMIQ
— 𝕽 (@lowkyric) October 31, 2023
2.
lowkey "seize him" and "unhand me" were huge for the english language
— ̊ (@doxie_gay) October 31, 2023
3.
I miss him so bad I’m finna post him so he can call me and tell me to delete it
— Kamaria Niambi (@kamariaaa__) October 20, 2023
4.
Me during a plot twist scene after forcing people to watch a movie pic.twitter.com/cfWxWOHZxu
— Patty LaCerva 💌𓆦 (@minasdemon) October 22, 2023
5.
monster at the halloween maze I went to made me get on my knees and told me "I bet this isn't your first time on your knees" pic.twitter.com/KBvC382i0I
— - (@armmxndo) October 22, 2023
6.
this is so funny pic.twitter.com/kiXb9REYWy
— m (@liIpochaco) October 22, 2023
7.
Toddlers are so unserious, like why do you have a beer belly
— No Hay Tricotri 🇵🇷 (@ArrozYUnGandul) October 23, 2023
8.
Crazy name for a baby pic.twitter.com/QIEBSPE0ej
— Meesh Hell (@waziot) October 23, 2023
12.
who’s throwing a halloween party tmr night and wanna invite me and my homegirls (we’re all on birth control)
— leslie (@_lflexing) October 27, 2023
13.
Stranger next to me on the airplane said “can you go back a page, I missed that last sentence” pic.twitter.com/F7QKPa1EDR
— SNARKYMARKY (@snarkeigh) October 29, 2023
14.
Should I check sniffies at Disneyland
— dr. bitchcraft (@all_coopedup) October 29, 2023
15.
how it feels to be on public transport with no airpods pic.twitter.com/OSSAaVOfU5
— Brooklyn (@bklynb4by) October 17, 2023
16.
jacob visiting bella after she got back from the honeymoon pic.twitter.com/dOUtEWZOpp
— ✧ (@kristenluvr) October 17, 2023
18.
always a fine line between being stoned enough to think a movie is really good and being stoned enough that you can’t stop thinking about how you’re just watching real people pretend to be other people for money
— mar (@itsmariannnna) October 20, 2023
19.
doctors after your card declines at the hospital pic.twitter.com/oXtO3qNzl5
— PYPER🍒 (@badbbyaera) October 22, 2023
20.
My OBGYN just called me a free spirit..,. (whore lite) I got to stop telling this bitch all my business stg😭🤣😭😔😔 pic.twitter.com/x3S4Bpx0R3
— Tittygate 2023 (@jiggyjayy2) October 24, 2023
21.
Y’all LMFAOOO9999???!!!!!!😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭 pic.twitter.com/1q6jHO6g7g
— Maya Angelique👑 (@moneyymaya) October 25, 2023
22.
Who-who's gonna make me sweat? Hmm? Who's gonna make holler? pic.twitter.com/WXf7Fnp1AY
— i’m goin to see the creole texan in theaters 🐎🪩 (@JustSomeLuhBoi) October 25, 2023
24.
Me to my bestfriend when I’m ready to smoke at the function pic.twitter.com/a6BtVZExwk
— DJKingKey (@DenimJunkieKidd) October 25, 2023
25.
people putting music over their instagram photos now pic.twitter.com/oti8xFeDSk
— Crawford M Horton (@broiledcrawfish) October 28, 2023
27.
this is the best picture i think pic.twitter.com/K0vf4AJKIM
— •ᴗ- (@evadentz) October 28, 2023
29.
Working In Office is soooo degrading why am I biking 3 miles in slacks at 8 am with a jar of beef stew in my backpack
— manic pixie cheese curd, MPH (@tildawhirl) October 17, 2023
31.
used to work in a coffee shop in 39th and Lennox. He would come in every Wednesday on his lunch break and get the special with a hot chocolate. My manager used to be tripping cause we supposed to use water, I would always use milk and cream for him cause I thought he was sweet 👀 https://t.co/eXJkSq2CYe
— _S🦂 (@Sadeee_x) October 16, 2023
33.
having a convo w someone and “Rebecca1182839” likes your reply pic.twitter.com/zT4bqGlz5t
— ⭒ (@kmnclub) October 15, 2023
34.
My dildo came and my mom nosey ass opened my package now I have to live with my aunt pic.twitter.com/AWwHSc1WqL
— Mo (@moxxwell) October 15, 2023
35.
lady in the gym: “i can borrow you right quick!”
— عالِم (@theaalimabdul) October 14, 2023
me: sure
her: *stands me in front of her client, spins me around* “you see how his waist goes in? he’s lean”
me: pic.twitter.com/r0UHI6voS5
36.
pic.twitter.com/WLpxHNA2hC https://t.co/7WhTm0TP1D
— wil (@wilcope4) October 13, 2023
37.
you’ve served your time? https://t.co/Zl0KL3tjvn
— hippie🤸🏾♀️ (@trulyraee) October 9, 2023
38.
This is how I feel going on a dating app pic.twitter.com/gmbFVsYycO
— Julia 🦢 (@S0UNDOFMETAL) October 9, 2023
39.
Everybody is announcing Vegas residencies it seems like nobody wants to go on tour anymore….get your ass up and come to my city pic.twitter.com/IkC2AVv94V
— 💫 (@heyjaeee) October 10, 2023
40.
Apple featured photos always be the most emotional moments with an ex & the funnest day with a best friend you fell out with.
— Dylan Ali (@dylanali_) October 10, 2023
41.
Emailing recruiters “not interested? 👀” when I don’t hear back from a job application
— 🇵🇸 (@midosommar) October 9, 2023
42.
*Someone viewed you on Grindr* pic.twitter.com/g1RARxocQX
— Meh (@Spilling_The_T) October 8, 2023
43.
My baby made me an imaginary pizza. I started eating it saying “mmmm it’s so good.”
— Voldemort (@ib_2cute) October 8, 2023
She said, “You didn’t take it out the box” pic.twitter.com/I9pKRJd0mP
44.
call that assault and bobbery pic.twitter.com/KORrp5kpZU
— jimmy (@jimmyoutsold) October 6, 2023
45.
despite the horrors there is always take edible on couch
— woahh mann (@ashhhhhhole) October 6, 2023
46.
how do I form meaningful friendships as an adult without enrolling in grad school or joining a cult
— abby govindan (@abbygov) October 6, 2023
47.
Finished the (1) roll of toilet paper in my airbnb and asked the host where I could find extra and he said the supermarket pic.twitter.com/RH9a17nj1s
— Corey Jacob (@coreytimes) October 4, 2023
48.
https://t.co/5htm6uYUBs pic.twitter.com/FaBiTJa2MU
— ThereGoTerry (@ThereGoTerry) October 12, 2023
49.
I yawned in the club last night and my homegirl said “don’t piss me off” 😭
— full-snack developer 🇭🇹 (@notdanilu) October 1, 2023
50.
damn. everybody getting pregnant
— ❤️🔥 G A W D ❤️🔥 (@_benjvmins_) October 17, 2023
pic.twitter.com/V8jNcpNbUN
51.
When I was getting onto my train someone pushed me (normal) and I accidentally stepped on a (Russian?) ladies foot. I apologised profusely and sat down. Would you believe that when I was getting off she trampled on both of my feet and shouted “like this you did me.”
— Ms. king (@kingeniola) October 17, 2023
53.
when they go low, i go lower pic.twitter.com/hW9Z2DsliT
— omeo 𖤐 (@ihyomeo) October 16, 2023
54.
when he finishes in doggy n just has you there like: pic.twitter.com/QRcQGoRphu
— PYPER🍒 (@badbbyaera) October 12, 2023
55.
me right after everyone just finished singing happy birthday pic.twitter.com/9P7AwNEg0t
— HEEDlE (@heyheedie) October 6, 2023
56.
When my candle tells a good joke but I’m about to leave the house pic.twitter.com/q0997GMfwF
— 👻⋆ ★E *ೃ༄🎃 (@aurasobright) October 5, 2023
57.
Opening g****r and realizing I changed my display name to “⬇️” when I was dr*nk last weekend pic.twitter.com/KsQgJSkVYN
— michael (@kresnxk) October 13, 2023
59.
“The Cover Charge Is…
— KenKen (@KensBestLyfe) October 4, 2023
Me: pic.twitter.com/w4T5J4CBcm
60.
who ordered the poopoo platter https://t.co/8LHSDWSMPy
— Brooklyn (@bklynb4by) October 15, 2023
61.
? Guess not. https://t.co/N28PgqxFV8
— ruth b8r goonsburg (@bkonyd) October 10, 2023
62.
Girls will suffer unearthly tragedies and still run errands the same day with a smile on their face but if a man’s parents divorce when he is 12 he will unleash his wrath on the world for the rest of his life
— Soup (@soupinthering) October 9, 2023
63.
no cuz having a British bf is a humbling experience i’ll be making up drama in my head and start shit and my bf will just say “what u on about” and I just am like yeah ok lemme shut up
— ✭ 𝒞 𝒦 ✭ (@wolfiecindy) October 7, 2023
64.
happy national bf day to the 6 month situationship that derailed my life but will live on in my heart forever
— samantha (@milkygoddess) October 3, 2023
65.
those paris bed bugs showing up to every fashion after pic.twitter.com/ibhdsfbedF
— ghetto drab art fag🫧 (@StormDorm411) October 3, 2023
66.
[gritting my teeth as a woman shows me a meme on her phone] Snoopy wouldn’t do that. That’s not real.
— reilly (@GoodPostReilly) October 3, 2023
67.
that weird feeling you get every time you look at an AI generated image is because they’re not of god btw
— jess (@abolish_jess) October 2, 2023