It's unbelievable that it's already been TWO full years since WHO declared the coronavirus as a global pandemic. And two years later...we're still in a pandemic, so any time is a good time for a laugh these days. As per usual, there have already been a load of *chef's kiss* tweets this month, so take a look and have a laugh:
And follow the accounts that made you laugh so your Twitter timeline will be even better!
1.
Dating someone who barely likes you is literal torture so from now on i need someone thats gon fall to their knees in the middle of Whole Foods when they think of me
2.
mfs get a macbook and never use the word “laptop” again
4.
😭
5.
When gas was $1.65 I used to drive around to “clear my mind” .. now!? These thoughts living with me.
6.
you can’t just abbreviate phrases all william nilliam
7.
i judge a book by its cover.
8.
Called my landlord bc I smelled gas and he came over and turned my stovetop burner off
9.
I knew nyc was for me the first time i jaywalked & the car coming toward me accelerated hard
10.
you’re in his dms, i’m inside his walls making cicada noises until he slowly goes insane
11.
your parents house have everything you need except peace.
12.
how was this posed to help wit the suds
13.
[me on a date with edward scissorhands] what the fuck is wrong with you
14.
sometimes someone is like “I’m a people pleaser 🥺” and it’s like ok the people around you do NOT seem pleased
15.
self undiagnosing cuz i don’t think i wanna be like y’all anymore
16.
[Male manipulator in the year 15,000 BCE] Honestly I think gathering is even more impressive than hunting in some ways
17.
My favourite kid I ever taught when I was a swim teacher was this little 4-year-old Italian boy. One time he sneezed and nobody said anything so he just went “what? No bless yous for Giacomo?”
18.
rejected my coworker and he put his two weeks in…🧍🏻♀️
19.
who decided to “spring forward” at 2 a.m. on the weekend. we should do it at 4 p.m. on a monday
20.
drinking water in front of my plants so they remember who the breadwinner is
21.
y’all be emo with a THICK country accent. like calm down hillbilly eilish
22.
the person who invented bodysuits saw a shirt and thought 'let me buckle this around my pussy'
23.
I have my therapist HOOKED. Time was up and he said he really wanted to hear more 😂😭😭
24.
told the guy in the apple store i use a 2012 macbook pro and he said "more like a fatbook slow" and did a click and point thing
25.
someone described my girlfriend’s skin as “sun-kissed” recently and now the sun’s about to catch these hands
26.
For the first time in my nyc career, a rat tried to climb up my leg. I appreciate thoughts, prayers and privacy during this time of self evaluation and grief. Thank you.
27.
i love when pets lie down & cross their little paws, like oh i didn’t realize you were so classy
28.
Just filled up my tank and I’ve actually decided to put my car in neutral, open the door and use my feet like the flinstones
29.
parents love texting "call me as soon as you can." then being like "i just wanted to know if you'd seen westworld"
30.
man we both high af 😭😭😭
31.
it sounds so smart to say “i annotate my books” then the annotations are all “OMG” “SLAYY” “yes” “NOooooOo” “🥵” “HAHAHAHA” “whAt?” “<3” “ngl fr fr”
32.
If this doesnt work I give up
33.
Just saw someone say they got the ick from the way their bfs body flailed around when they got in a car crash
34.
Fucked to Shrek 2 last night. you WISH you were me
35.
My TAX RETURN so SMALL the H&R BLOCK lady just pulled the MONEY out HER PURSE☹️😩😩
36.
at mcdonald's ordering the little fucking freak meal
37.
“you were searched 43 times on Linkedin this week” ok so where’s my job
38.
Boy I just ordered a round of shots for da first time in my life an idk what ima eat for da next week
39.
Came to my parents house, seen they was cleaning the garage out, i kept driving. I aint sign up for that today lol
40.
I asked the produce guy if I could try a grape and he said he wouldn’t care if I lit the store on fire with him in it
41.
Lord this job I prayed and begged you for, I’m bout to quit it.
42.
electricity went out and i had a small meltdown at work today
43.
I’ve got to think of a way to get off this planet by tomorrow