Jab Tak Hai Jaan is the touching story of a wealthy chainsmoker girl who falls in love with a hard-working, lower-class peasant boy. It is a lovely glimpse into staying faithful to your beliefs even if those beliefs were formed when you were 5 years old... and effectively ruin the lives of you, your loved ones, all those around you and of course, the audience.
The movie is a passionate cry for balance. When your lover wishes the best for you, you must vow to flush their prayers down the drain. With a little bit of flirting and concussions sprinkled in, it's all in a decade's work. Because that's what you do, jab tak hai jaan (until you have life).
Samar (my former lover, Shahrukh Khan) is not only the King of Romance, but an Indian army major and the King of Bomb destruction/domination!!! With those stylin Ray Bans and that studly walk FULL of swag, bombs only explode quivering in fear. Armor is OVERRATED!
Meanwhile, Akira, a wannabe Japanese/Dora the Explorer, trapped in the body of a extremely stretched out, chicken-legged, Indian model's body, is the "modern bold girl". She dives into the coldest waters of Ladakh to prove one thing and one thing only to her stoner friends back home in London:
Samar is busy saving people from bombs IN THE MIDDLE OF f***ing NOWHERE but begrudgingly decides to waste some time helping the flailing, pathetic Akira who forgot to take swimming lessons before swan-diving into unfamiliar waters.
Akira's attempts to be bffs with Major Samar —> um, re-jected! Twas a Major fail (hahaha get it??) but don't underestimate the lurk. She slithers into his diary, in which he chicken-scratched every single moment of his past… like a little teenage girl.
A lesser known fact: Samar was apparently a disgusting cheeseball (prior to his current state as the grumpy man who lacks the companionship of 9 cats) and knew how to make the ladies melt. Case in point:
*Akira creepily reads diary*
"Wow this diary is really detailed.."
*Akira creepily reads diary*
Akira soon scores a sick job reporting for Discovery Channel thanks to her many qualifications, including existing within a Bollywood movie. She will report on various global affairs. ie. The Global Epidemic: Short short-shorts have passed enemy lines onto the flattest of butts and discomfort is fast-approaching!!
No, actually she will be doing a piece on none other than Samar, the renowned bomb specialist who has no fear for his life but still writes in his diary like a little girl. Akira is a newly formed fan girl stalker and quickly gets to work at being the most annoying sidekick/camping paparazzi.
Pumped with creative juices, and 5 energy drinks for breakfast, Akira pulls out all the stops.
It was now time to take care of some Real issues…it was time..
…to BE FUN.
Akira is so bouncy/lovable/talkative (Doctors say her childhood braces left her mouth eternally paralyzed with a bewildered smile) that ALL of freaking Kashmir falls in love with her within one song sequence. Even Major Anand cracks a smile. Note to self: learn to be this charming.
TO BE CONTINUED…
if you like it please show the love and any advice or recommendations for other movies would be great too! Thanks for reading y'all!
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