Buzz·Posted on 22 Jan 201617 Tweets About Trying To Eat Healthy That Are Pretty FunnyLunch and I are happy to welcome our child into the world: Baby halloumi.by Ailbhe MaloneBuzzFeed Staff, UK LinkFacebookPinterestTwitterMail 1. Esti @slightlyfunny77 I haven't eaten an apple in days. The doctors are closing in. My barricade won't last much longer. They're coming. Tell my family I love th- 02:11 PM - 03 Dec 2014 Reply Retweet Favorite 2. Bob Kostic @causticbob Vegetarian Zombies; They want your grains. 12:50 PM - 16 Jan 2016 Reply Retweet Favorite 3. Fill Werrell @FillWerrell When you eat a fruit & feel healthy AF 02:48 AM - 14 Jul 2015 Reply Retweet Favorite 4. Mitten d'Amour @MittenDAmour How to cook the perfect amount of pasta: 1. Pour out how much you think you need 2. Wrong 06:14 PM - 23 May 2013 Reply Retweet Favorite 5. Twitflup @Twitflup Who you gonna call? 06:54 PM - 02 Nov 2013 Reply Retweet Favorite 6. Joanna Borns @robotics Buying a salad is all fun and games until you have to eat it. 08:27 PM - 05 Jun 2015 Reply Retweet Favorite 7. Shira @shiraselko "You can't have your cake and eat it too." - People who don't understand what you're supposed to do with cake 08:13 PM - 19 Jul 2011 Reply Retweet Favorite 8. TokenSuperhero @MarcusTheToken Food delivery is a combination of my three favorite things: 1. Food 2. Not moving 3. Avoiding people 02:09 AM - 18 Jul 2011 Reply Retweet Favorite 9. Ben Schwartz @benschwartzy I'm sitting in a hotel restaurant at 7AM with Bond music playing. This might be the best oatmeal I ever have - or the last. 02:09 PM - 13 Apr 2014 Reply Retweet Favorite 10. Jason Gelles @1CarParade Idea for a bakery that only sells baguettes and bagels called Gender Rolls. 05:21 AM - 02 Oct 2014 Reply Retweet Favorite 11. JC @JCautomatic Wife: Do you fancy coming home at lunchtime for a quickie. Me: It's pronounced Quiche. 07:46 AM - 14 Oct 2013 Reply Retweet Favorite 12. oliver @ollypenderghast going vegetarian was the best decision I ever made, I just need to cut out dairy, eggs and boys and all impurities will be gone from my life 11:53 PM - 17 Jan 2016 Reply Retweet Favorite 13. Lucy Ford @lovelucyford when u want to be vegan and u also want cheese 03:13 AM - 20 Jan 2016 Reply Retweet Favorite 14. Maggy @maggyvaneijk Lunch and I are so excited to welcome our child into the world: baby halloumi 12:10 PM - 07 Sep 2015 Reply Retweet Favorite 15. Jon Stone @joncstone would not be surprised if 80%+ cans of non-chopped tinned tomatoes are purchased in error 10:50 AM - 10 Sep 2014 Reply Retweet Favorite 16. Anna Kendrick @AnnaKendrick47 I suspect that low-carb diets work not because they are healthier, but because without carbs I simply lose the will to eat. 07:35 PM - 05 Nov 2015 Reply Retweet Favorite 17. edgarwright @edgarwright Trying to eat well but autocorrect changing 'Must fill kitchen with healthy snacks' to 'Must fill kitchen with healthy snakes' doesn't help. 12:06 PM - 21 Jan 2016 Reply Retweet Favorite